Unsolicited comments (of any sort)

[Catlover614]

I'm curious to see what you guys look like even though looks aren't most important. I confess that sometimes I try to imagine your faces.

 

[Catlover614]

I fantasize about meeting some of you face to face. Wouldn't be overly awkward since we're already expecting some sort of awkwardness anyway. I think it would be fun to once a year have a social gathering of our own and there would be no need of explanations, lol. On-the-spectrum convention.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I'm curious to see what you guys look like even though looks aren't most important. I confess that sometimes I try to imagine your faces.

Well, here's my face and hair. (I have yet to really learn how to use makeup, but once I do, maybe I'll post another pic.)
If you were a middle-aged man, would you tease me?

 

[Judge]

If you were a middle-aged man, would you tease me?

Clearly you ARE being simply "teased" at least on one level, apart from the nature of your job.

But why escapes me. I can't help but wonder if you lived in a smaller, less metropolitan area that people might be more polite.

It's baffling to me, and I'm sorry you have to contend with such BS so often. The only suggestion I can think of is to do whatever you can to continue to appear older than you are...but I'm still just guessing at this point. It's all so "junior high" for grown adults to treat you as such.

Maybe it's an NT trait...older people deliberately teasing people based on their perceived age. Doesn't make any sense to me...but then I was never NT either. Teasing a complete stranger in itself is alien behavior to me and always will be.

 

[Catlover614]

Well, here's my face and hair. (I have yet to really learn how to use makeup, but once I do, maybe I'll post another pic.)
If you were a middle-aged man, would you tease me?

I wouldn't dream of teasing you or anyone else. There's beauty in all of us, not just physical attractiveness, but genuinely lovely on the inside, where it really counts. You have a pretty face, no make-up required, don't be intimidated to not show it.

 

[Catlover614]

I don't like looking at myself in the mirror. I see an ugly coward.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I wouldn't dream of teasing you or anyone else. There's beauty in all of us, not just physical attractiveness, but genuinely lovely on the inside, where it really counts. You have a pretty face, no make-up required, don't be intimidated to not show it.

Thanks. But it's not that I don't think I'm pretty, but that makeup can make you look older. And sometimes people are more likely to be respected if they look 'polished and put together.' I'm not sure if it would work with the middle-aged jokesters but it's worth an experiment.
Plus I already spent some money on makeup. Cheap makeup (Wet n' Wild), but still.

 

[Catlover614]

I usually only wear makeup for my boyfriend. It's a lot of pressure that I can only be desired if I look a certain way. Not all men, but many do require a "standard". You know, big boobs, sexy, flat stomach and athletic legs. I don't fit in that category.

 

[Judge]

One other thing to consider. Imagine real women who for whatever reason are taken for or reminded of "Amy Farrah Fowler". A very well-known character on a mercilessly popular sitcom known as "The Big Bang Theory". So much teasing...that would make sense too.

Which might explain the unexplainable. Any takers?

If this could be it, I'd consider one thing to change. Ditch the glasses. Go to contacts. A pain at first, but you get used to them. Assuming of course your prescription can accommodate contact lenses. Something to consider, anyways. I don't think Amy Farrah Fowler wears any makeup as well. Hmmm.

 

[Maelstrom]

That's interesting, because the older I get, the more rewarding my interests are! When younger and in the workplace, I always seemed to get caught up in more socializing than I wanted to. Sometimes I did crave and enjoy the company of others but mileage and wear and tear has made me extremely grateful that I can pick and choose when I want to socialize. And I can be selfish and spend as much time as I want to on my special interests without offending others, because there are no others, besides my husband and he is busy with his own interests.

You are lucky then...but you have a husband to love....it is not the same for a single person, the isolation level is much higher. The lack of talk and touch and feeling can feel like a cod wind blowing through a hole in your soul....it is very bad for me sometimes.

 

[Maelstrom]

One other thing to consider. Imagine real women who for whatever reason are taken for or reminded of "Amy Farrah Fowler". A very well-known character on a mercilessly popular sitcom known as "The Big Bang Theory". So much teasing...that would make sense too.

Which might explain the unexplainable. Any takers?

If this could be it, I'd consider one thing to change. Ditch the glasses. Go to contacts. A pain at first, but you get used to them. Assuming of course your prescription can accommodate contact lenses. Something to consider, anyways. I don't think Amy Farrah Fowler wears any makeup as well. Hmmm.

And she likes girls a bit much...it could ruin a guys day she is more fake Holly Wood ugly actually not bad looking done up right....they try to make her look bad.

 

[Judge]

And she likes girls a bit much...it could ruin a guys day she is more fake Holly Wood ugly actually not bad looking done up right....they try to make her look bad.

Well, I know some guys have very narrow minds when it comes to women in glasses. That to them it implies something which can be very good or very bad. Yet it can mean getting teased either way as well.

But like Amy, if you are low key and mind your own business....you may seem even more like her to some people. Just a thought, anyways. People think what they want...even when or if it's simply not true.

 

[Maelstrom]

Well, I know some guys have very narrow minds when it comes to women in glasses. That to them it implies something which can be very good or very bad. Yet it can mean getting teased either way as well.

I thought the teacher lady with glasses was a hot thing?....
They are picking the worst clothes possible for her on purpose

 

[Judge]

I thought the teacher lady with glasses was a hot thing?....

So did David Lee Roth.

 

[Maelstrom]

The aspie girl I'm seeing dresses down quiet a bit, but she is so cute to me I don't mind.
Sometimes the natural chemistry just is!

 

[Judge]

The aspie girl I'm seeing dresses down quiet a bit, but she is so cute to me I don't mind.
Sometimes the natural chemistry just is!

That works.

But when someone may inadvertently appear as a pop culture character, I can see how that might be problematic where so many teasing men may have such a common frame of reference.

 

[Maelstrom]

That works.

But when someone may inadvertently appear as a pop culture character, I can see how that might be problematic where so many teasing men may have such a common frame of reference.

I don't believe in mean teasing....I tease people I like sometimes but it is in a nice way showing friendship or affection....playfulness.

 

[Judge]

I don't believe in mean teasing....I tease people I like sometimes but it is in a nice way showing friendship or affection....playfulness.

I'd only consider that with someone I knew quite well. Never someone I didn't. Even then...being teased as a child wasn't a pleasant thing for me. It doesn't come naturally even if I do know them intimately.

 

[umbrellabeach]

I'm not familiar with Amy or the show... my parents are, though. I just went on YouTube and watched some clips, but no one teased her. Though, in real life, people would tease someone like her. She's a geek type, right? And normal people don't take female geeks seriously...
I remember once, when I was out at a restaurant with family and friends as a young teen, they laughed at me for using the word "eagerly." Kind of turned me off being descriptive.

Come to think of it, I just remembered another unsolicited comment I got last year, shortly after I'd started working. I was standing at the bagging station (or whatever it's called) cleaning my glasses, and some guy came up and said, "Don't you just hate glasses?" I said no. I don't remember any interaction after that, so he must have left.
I started writing a list of all the unwanted comments I've gotten that I can remember. So far I've got 17. This will make 18.

Oh yeah, and speaking of characters, I've been compared to Pippi Longstocking (directly because of my hair) and Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables.

My current glasses are very new - only a few months old - and they weren't cheap, so if I ever switch to contacts, it will be a long time till I do. I'm also uncomfortable with the idea of touching my eyeballs.

Getting teased by old people for having glasses... I was always under the impression that young elementary school children teased other kids for having glasses, but grew out of it or were taught otherwise. Same for hair, I guess. This is really eye-opening. People don't grow up or learn. They just make their immaturity (and BULLYING) more subtle so they won't get in trouble.

I'd only consider that with someone I knew quite well. Never someone I didn't. Even then...being teased as a child wasn't a pleasant thing for me. It doesn't come naturally even if I do know them intimately.

AGREE AGREE AGREE 10000000000000000X%!!! Like I've said before, people do who this to me are people I've never seen before, and it's how they 'introduce' themselves. It's our very first (and consequently only) interaction.
And even if someone I know well is going to tease me, it had better be about something I already find funny. Like if I already joke about a habit or interest of mine.

 

[Judge]

I'm not familiar with Amy or the show... my parents are, though. I just went on YouTube and watched some clips, but no one teased her. Though, in real life, people would tease someone like her. She's a geek type, right? And normal people don't take female geeks seriously...

The irony is that in real life, actress Mayim Bialik who plays the character is probably the only person on the entire set who actually understands much of the science peripherally discussed in the show. She has a doctorate in neuroscience. As a character on the show, no, I can't recall anyone on the show teasing her. But I can see people in r/l teasing others if they perceive someone to look or act like the character. I certainly would feel bad for any Aspie if they resembled Dr. Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons) for the same reasoning.

Point taken though, in this culture women still have a tough time being accepted in society as being exceptionally bright. A bit silly and archaic, but then there's still a gap in wages for women which is equally absurd. We very much still have a sexist culture.