The era of streaming movies has taken away the social aspect of renting a stack of movies from the local mom and pop shop that had the largest anime selection in the county, and then inviting the bros over to binge watch in my living room man cave.
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Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I do not have to be who I was yesterday. I do not have to be who I was five seconds ago. Wallowing in diseased patterns of thought has done me no favors. There is comfort in replaying those tapes in my head. But true growth will come from turning those tapes off and replacing them.
I feel like packing my bags, boarding a jet plane, getting an apartment in another state, changing my name, changing my face, starting life over with a stable chosen family.
I feel like I wish I had enough income for a vacation to Tokyo. That is a bucket list item for me - trip to Tokyo.
I feel a genuine sense of malaise between my currently untreated sleep apnea and my new sobriety from alcohol. I feel like some liquor might help, even though I know it won’t. I feel like I am going insane through all of this.
I just saw the Chainsaw Man movie. I will watch it again after I see season one of the tv series, I feel it would be unfair to review it seeing it without having that background story knowledge first.
Waking up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep.
I am enjoying movies solo watching once again. Could this mean I am overcoming a clinical depression?
I am watching Hamilton on Disney Plus. It is now at the intermission. This is such a great musical.
I wish a lot of you lived closer to Puyallup, WA. I would invite you over for a sober BBQ and movie binge watching. Come to my place and let's party like the nerds we are. Maybe I'll go to more movie meetups in my area and see if I can make some cinephile friends there.
Drama is one hell of a drug. Letting go of it should be the easiest thing in the world, but it is not. I am healthier without it, as is everyone else. I can think clearly now, but how long will it last this time?
I feel like binge watching movies and writing reviews when I get home from work today. Sipping hot ginger tea, unsweetened, under a warm fluffy blanket on my recliner couch.
I feel like eating the Thai Curry boneless wings from a local joint. Along with some fries and a non alcoholic beer. My acid reflux will hate me over that if I indulged in something like this. Every food that I love hates my body.
I am drinking a 1 liter bottle of Mountain Dew right now. I am feeling like a failure because I caved into that instead of buying liquor. Ideally, I would not be drinking any garbage at all.
I am feeling a profound sense of clinical depression. Knowing it is all chemical is helping me navigate through it without a sense of panic. I won't do anything stupid, but I will talk to my doctor very soon.
I had a bowl of yen ta fo for dinner. It was absolutely amazing.
I am going to attend a drag brunch tomorrow morning.
I wish I had a plate of Pud See Ew to consume right now.
Ace, RIP, the only talented member of KISS has passed away.
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