Corrupt A Wish

[Flinty]

Granted. Sound is now 1 decibel less and there was one less shot fired in the Middle East this hour.

I wish I knew what I said wrong to Crush #3.

 

[Maelstrom]

I wish I had some quietness and peace.

granted: You go for a hike and fall down a old mine shaft...dead quiet except for the spiders and little water dripping.

I wish: I had a try wing Red Barron plane Ugh! I always write too slow

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Granted. Sound is now 1 decibel less and there was one less shot fired in the Middle East this hour.

I wish I knew what I said wrong to Crush #3.

Granted. You now know what you said wrong to Crush #3, and you're utterly astounded at how petty, shallow, flighty, and generally witless a pretty package can be.

I wish I had time to take a serious crafts class from the local college.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. Your serious craft will be painting camouflage on a new line of land mines.

I wish I didn't have to work next Saturday...and if it involves being fired from that job, so be it.

 

[zurb]

Granted. Your boss was totally unaware you were in the kiln when he started it. He's quite apologetic for firing you. Looking on the bright side you don't have to work on Saturday as that's when you are due for the skin grafts.

I wish I didn't get so overwhelmed with life.

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED: You are no longer overwhelmed by life. You are a zombie.

I wish I could fall up.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. You have destroyed the International Space Station. And you're still going.

I wish work were less boring.

 

[Beverly]

Granted - you no longer have a job.

I wish I were ten years younger.

 

[inabox]

Granted. But the wish-granting fairy has you age recorded in correctly. So your new age is in fact 78 years older than you were before.

I wish I could fly (without aeroplanes)

 

[Beverly]

Granted, you are a humming bird - with a cat chasing you.

I wish I had a new Jaguar (the car.)

 

[Flinty]

Granted. But there's a bolt missing...somewhere.

I wish the caretakers weren't vacuuming right outside my door. Why now?

 

[Beverly]

Granted, now they are vacuuming right INSIDE your door.

I wish it weren't so hot.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. You have been relocated to McMurdo Station.

I wish I knew what the point of this last seven weeks has been.

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED: All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

I wish there was another photograph of me that I could post, aside from
the one of me holding a possum.

 

[Beverly]

Granted - you have one of you sticking your tongue out while holding a skunk and, the skunk is facing the camera. (Let your mind draw that one for you. *evil laugh*)

I wish I had a new air freshener to get rid of the skunk odor in here.

 

[tree]

Thank you. It is a charming image you have created.

WISH GRANTED: The skunk odor is gone, but that stuff you burned
thinking it was White Sage smells like wet hay, the smoke alarms went
off, the fire department came and filled your house with fire retardant
foam, and your neighbors are spreading rumors that you were busted
for weed.

I wish that the project would seem simple & appealing to me again.

 

[Beverly]

Granted, the entire project now consists of writing the letter A ten times while eating your favorite food but you have to write with your lips.

I wish it were September - I'm tired of the grand kids being in my pool every day.

 

[StephF]

Granted, it is now September and the kids have gone home but now your pool is full of dead leaves from the trees.

I wish I was on holiday in the Canary Islands.

 

[Beverly]

Granted, but this genie is nearly deaf, he thought you said BINARY islands and, you are now trapped inside your computer.

I wish I had remembered to get tea bags today.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. They're for the Jolly Green Giant.

I wish for today's weather to continue forever and ever.