Corrupt A Wish

[tree]

WISH GRANTED: Today's weather will continue forever & ever in select areas on the moon.

I wish more people would rate my generators (aka multiple list randomizers).

 

[Beverly]

Okay, your generators are all rated XXX - now you have to screen users to be sure they are 18 or older.

I wish my pontoon boat were ready to take out this weekend. (in the process of rebuilding it.)

 

[Flinty]

Granted. It's being taken out by the Titanic. I don't see that relationship ending well.

I wish I didn't have to work in a non-air-conditioned bunker for 12 hours on Saturday.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Granted. You are now doing the same job while skydiving. Fortunately, since everything you're working on is accelerating at the same speed, your boss mistakes this for productivity and gives you a raise if you survive landing.

I wish I got paid for my overtime.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. Here are three shiny pennies. (Rounded to one shiny nickel in Canada.)

I wish I hadn't just wasted 150 bucks.

 

[Beverly]

Granted, you got mugged and it was stolen from you.

I wish I had another bottle of Backwoods Brew. (e-cigarette liquid)

 

[Flinty]

Granted. It has exactly three drops of brew left in it.

I wish that humming noise would stop for once.

 

[Beverly]

Granted, it has mutated into a high pitched squealing noise.

I wish I had ordered a box of Colombian K-Cups with my last order.

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED:
While you were sleeping, you were the recipient of a
surprise boob job. Congratulations on the new K size.

I wish I wish I wish for a fish, a magical fish to tell me the answers.

 

[Beverly]

Granted but, it's sort of dead.

I wish Someone would buy the rabbits I have for sale because some of them are too nice looking to use for meat.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

Congratulations on your new fish. It tells you the answers to questions you don't have in so much detail that you decide to barbecue it.

I wish the weather would break. This sullen hot gray is getting on my nerves.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. The weather is now broken. It's 114 degrees and snowing.

I wish the humming hadn't stopped. (It really did.) That worries me.

 

[inabox]

Granted. It has restarted with every able-voiced person in the world humming. Unfortunately they are all humming the note of the brown noise. So the whole world simultaneously craps themselves.
(Inspiration from South Park)

I wish it was somehow practical for me to live in the trees

 

[tree]

WISH GRANTED: You are now situated in a grove of ashleaf maples. Hope you like boxelder bugs.

I wish you would quit bothering me.

 

[Vinca]

Wish granted! I will no longer try to contact you to tell you about the ten million dollar prize you have won.

I would like to live in a house that I could see the sea from, but not close enough to the beach that there was a danger of the sea damaging the house.

 

[Beverly]

Granted, you live on top of a very tall, steep mountain. the sea is 20 miles away but, it's so steep a mountain, you can't get out of your house ever again.

I wish I didn't have to host a party for truck drivers this weekend.

 

[inabox]

Granted. You don't have to host a party for truck drivers this weekend. You have to host a party for rabid racoons every weekend.

I wish I was telepathic

 

[Beverly]

Granted, you can now read my mind and, boy is it a dark, sick twisted mess in there - have fun fining your way out Mwhaha.

I wish inabox would get out of my head.

 

[inabox]

Granted. But the default replacement is a giant sewer rat in your head.

I wish I knew what I was doing absconding from my own head and invading somebody else's head

 

[Flinty]

Granted. And now you realize that you never wanted to know.

I wish they would fix my computer at work. Properly.