Corrupt A Wish

[Katleya]

Granted. Enjoy your kale and kombucha donut, which you now have a lifetime supply of.
I wish I liked donuts.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Granted. Enjoy your kale and kombucha donut, which you now have a lifetime supply of.
I wish I liked donuts.

You love donuts,can't live without them.
Unfortunately I keep the worlds supply in my fridge and I won't let you have any.

I wish I was a fly on the wall.

 

[Katleya]

Granted. But you got smashed on the wall when @Butterfly88 and I opened the fridge door to take some of your donuts.

I wish I didn't have to clean up that fly on a white wall.

 

[pjcnet]

Granted, in fact all flies will be cleaned up for you in future and you won't have to worry about getting enough protein in your diet ever again either as you will be forced to eat them.

I wish I had the best PC gaming system money could buy.

 

[Butterfly88]

Granted, but it crashes after two weeks.

I wish I liked exercising.

 

[Katleya]

Granted. But you have been sent to a parallel dimension, and you live in an aerobics videotape, complete with neon spandex, 80s hairstyles, and the encouragements of Richard Simmons as a soundtrack to your new life.

I wish I could find that mosquito that defeated me last night.

 

[Butterfly88]

Granted, you find him but he defeats you yet again.

I wish garbage was worth as much as gold.

 

[Katleya]

Granted.
The value of gold on the market has collapsed to an all-time low,
equal to virtually nothing (or to garbage).
Congrats on bringing financial ruin to the world!

I wish depression was something one can, in fact, snap out of.

 

[tree]

Wish Granted.
Every depressed person snaps out of it,
then crackles, and pops. The world fills
with shattered ceramic popcorn people.

I wish I could remember....

 

[Butterfly88]

Granted, but you remember absolutely everything, even things you wish you could forget.

I wish the pizza place nearest to my house had gluten free vegan pizza.

 

[tree]

Wish Granted.

The pizza place nearest to your house does have gluten free vegan pizza.
One.
It is a sacred relic to be worshiped by devotees during the hours of 5pm
to 9pm Mondays, Wednesdays, and alternate Fridays.

I wish that old man would bring the tread mill here and set it up.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. You are now obligated to mill grains for Kellogg's for the rest of your life now that you have one.

I wish that I could eject the guy that loves to use offensive language from CAU.

 

[pjcnet]

Granted, but you're being ejected too and you now have a new buddy because he will now stalk you, magically appearing everywhere you go, making your life a living hell and his offensive language will be 10 times worse than before.

I wish PCs never ever crashed and every application / game always worked perfectly without any bugs.

 

[Aryanna]

Granted.
Then your family will get annoyed by how much time you’re spending on your computer and they will destroy it and never let you get another computer again.

I wish my school wasn’t 130% overpopulated. (Or is it populated? Well I mean that 30% of the people should not be there.)

 

[Flinty]

Granted. Your school has miraculously expanded by 30%. To do so, however, requires permanent blockage of all the surrounding streets. Recess now means literally playing in traffic.

I wish the electric company would quit shutting the electricity off to my neighbourhood.

 

[Katleya]

Granted. They've shut it off one last time, never to turn it back on, so it's pretty dark now & making tea or coffee is a new adventure everyday that requires flintstones.

I wish I had cheese in my fridge.

 

[pjcnet]

Granted, your fridge is filled with cheese, but you must eat all of it or else there will be terrible consequences, and I hope you don't mind eating extremely mouldy cheese that's at least a year past it's use by date.

I wish someone would generously donate a few million dollars to my personal bank account.

 

[Flinty]

Granted. They are sand dollars. Your bank's customers all move to a less smelly financial institution, causing a run, so you will also have to find a new institution to put your dollars.

I wish that my other computer would stop freezing.

 

[Gritches]

Granted, but now it has a habit of catching on fire instead.

I wish I could eat seafood.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Granted. But you can only eat when you're in the sea, oops you've turned into a fish.

I wish I could walk through walls