Corrupt A Wish

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but now people won't stop giving you gifts.

I wish I had a van.

 

[Pondering]

Wish granted. You have a van. But gas prices have inflated substantially - if you're planning on driving it, you have to pay for gasoline what you would normally pay in a year.

I wish I had a paper clip.

 

[Suzette]

I grant you your paper clip, it is attached to the collar of an irritable bull elephant.

I wish I could capture a humingbird

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

You captured a hummingbird, but now he's buzzing all around your head and won't leave you alone.

I wish I had a million dollars.

 

[Suzette]

A long lost uncle has left you his etire estate valued at 1 millon dollars. Alas, his accountant was a crook and had deffered paying taxes. You owe the government 1 million dollars in taxes and penalties.

I wish my husband had muscles like young Arnold Schwartzenegger

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

A long lost uncle has left you his etire estate valued at 1 millon dollars. Alas, his accountant was a crook and had deffered paying taxes. You owe the government 1 million dollars in taxes and penalties.

I wish my husband had muscles like young Arnold Schwartzenegger

Your husband may be quite swole now, but alas, he now only has the strength of a wee church mouse.

I wish I was at the beach.

 

[Suzette]

Wish granted! You are now on the beach. There is a beautiful sunset and slight warming breeze. As the waves gently tickle your toes, you realize the bottom of your foot is sticky and black with tar. In fact, the whole beach is covered with thick black tar.

I wish my dog could live until I die.

 

[SakuraRoseMilkTea]

Wish granted but your dog will now be twice as needy and twice as hungry all the time.

I wish it would rain tomorrow.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Wish granted, but it'll be raining soup.

I wish that I could fly.

 

[blue_bird]

Granted you will fly to the south pole as a stowaway in a very cramped baggage compartment.


I wish I could visit Japan

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Granted, you get to see Japan, while there your heart is broken in a dramatic and fiery love affair with a young executive assistant.

I wish I had a housekeeper

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Your wish is granted, but before they start cleaning, they go through all of your private stuff.

I wish I could breathe underwater.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Your wish is granted. Now you are a mermaid, and cannot return to land

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Well since you didn't write a wish, I now am a selkie with mermaid magic, and so I pull you down in the ocean with me and neither can you!

I wish I didn't have to pay bills.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Granted you are now a south american dictator, who lives surrounded by guards and flunkies.

I wish I had bought more snacks

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, you now have a lifetime supply of snack foods, but now the stacks and stacks of them take up most of your home.

I wish I could travel through time.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Granted, you go back in time to a period of fashion involving rayon, corduroy, pleather and bright colors.

I wish I had a million dollars

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

You have a million dollars, but you spend your fortune on a wardrobe consisting of: rayon, corduroy, pleather and bright colors.

I wish I had a car.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Granted you get a car, it's a 1977 Ford pinto with purple metallic paint, mag trims, a tactless hood ornament of foam rubber and the logo "dance baby yeah" painted in large lime green letters all along the driver's side, from tire to tire.

I wish I had cake

 

[blue_bird]

Granted, you get a chiffon cake made with real chiffon.


I wish I was taller.