Has my “time” come so to say?

[Judge]

When it came to “getting the girls” or doing something like playing the guitar good, I felt like I was way behind and couldn’t catch up.

There is no time limit to any of it. Though both take perseverance.

To play that guitar well you have to keep at it, rather than just tell everyone you can't play it.

 

[Markness]

For one thing, I wanted to pointed out that you were bullied there.
It isn't a friendly place if you have a different narrative.
And through implication, I was saying this is a more sympathetic website.

BTW, You may have noticed I gave you a "friendly" at the time, showing sympathy.

I don’t like Wrong Planet and even if I could go back there, I wouldn’t.

 

[Markness]

My older brother once told me I needed to be a “jackass” like him if I wanted a girlfriend. He was always pulling dangerous stunts, getting in fights, yelling loudly, and throwing parties. The girls chased after him while I was ignored.

 

[Judge]

My older brother once told me I needed to be a “jackass” like him if I wanted a girlfriend. He was always pulling dangerous stunts, getting in fights, yelling loudly, and throwing parties. The girls chased after him while I was ignored.

Ah yes...the "Bad Boy" thing. It's true that it can appeal to some women in a very strong way.

However it doesn't necessarily appeal to most women. I do know that in a few cases some women I got to know as friends told me how they lamented such thoughts on men. Where at times their "bad boy" thang filtered down to them in bad way. "Accessories after the fact"...that sort of thing.

Above all, there's a reason why such persons are nicknamed "Jackasses". Nuff said.

 

[Markness]

I don’t want to become a clone of my older brother. But why does society push me to become like him?

 

[tree]

My older brother once told me I needed to be a “jackass” like him if I wanted a girlfriend. He was always pulling dangerous stunts, getting in fights, yelling loudly, and throwing parties. The girls chased after him while I was ignored.

These girls who found that appealing, were they the sort of
personalities that you found interesting, then?
How about now?

 

[Forest Cat]

I don’t want to become a clone of my older brother. But why does society push me to become like him?

I think those things your brother talked about is a bigger deal when guys are 18 years old. If we use me as an example, I could do those things your brother talked about, but few people think a loud 40-something jackass is a good thing. So I think you should forget what your brother said. It's not really valid or useful now.

 

[Judge]

I don’t want to become a clone of my older brother. But why does society push me to become like him?

Somehow I don't see "society" at large pushing such a notion. And a couple of people who may know your brother don't constitute "society" which usually amounts to a whole lot of people.

Be yourself. Not another person who most likely you can never be anyways.

 

[Markness]

These girls who found that appealing, were they the sort of
personalities that you found interesting, then?
How about now?

Two of them were Gothic/alternative types so yes in those cases.

 

[tree]

Two out of how many, approximately?

What are they doing now? The two interesting ones.

 

[Markness]

He had probably at least 10 to 15 girlfriends.

I don’t know. After he split up with them, they disappeared and I never saw them again.

 

[tree]

Oh, so these 10 to 15 that hung around your brother
were his girlfriends, for some length of time?

How long, on average, did these relationships last?

 

[Mary Terry]

I don’t want to become a clone of my older brother. But why does society push me to become like him?

Society doesn't push you to be like your brother. It sounds like your brother pushes you to be like him. You can ignore him.

 

[Markness]

Society doesn't push you to be like your brother. It sounds like your brother pushes you to be like him. You can ignore him.

I used to hope that I could prove him wrong in that you didn’t need to be a “jackass” to be attractive to women. Instead, he’s the one who got married and had children. My younger brother also got married and has two children? Myself? I can’t even get a date despite my best efforts. I even paid a matchmaking service in 2021 a couple hundred dollars and took a two hour long test they assigned me but they didn’t match me up with anyone because I was considered too “depressed.”

 

[Mary Terry]

I used to hope that I could prove him wrong in that you didn’t need to be a “jackass” to be attractive to women. Instead, he’s the one who got married and had children. My younger brother also got married and has two children? Myself? I can’t even get a date despite my best efforts. I even paid a matchmaking service in 2021 a couple hundred dollars and took a two hour long test they assigned me but they didn’t match me up with anyone because I was considered too “depressed.”

Would you benefit from taking some anti-depression medication? Or a mood stabilizing drug? I really want to see you succeed, Markness, and right now, you're floundering, just lost and depressed about everything.

 

[Markness]

Would you benefit from taking some anti-depression medication? Or a mood stabilizing drug? I really want to see you succeed, Markness, and right now, you're floundering, just lost and depressed about everything.

I’ve been taking Lexapro twice a day for the last few years. Why I am still depressed is because my social isolation remains and my efforts to change things don’t succeed.

 

[Markness]

Oh, so these 10 to 15 that hung around your brother
were his girlfriends, for some length of time?

How long, on average, did these relationships last?

A few months to maybe a year.

 

[honeytoast]

I still think you should ask that girl out next time you see her.

 

[Markness]

I still feel sad about the summers I spent going to college and using dating sites in hopes of finding a girlfriend but doing both things at the same time never went my way.

 

[Cryptid]

You went to college to find a girlfriend? Most people go to college to earn their degrees instead.