Has my “time” come so to say?

[Cryptid]

But why did you bring up my past there?

Probably because it seems your past is all that matters to you.

 

[Jonn]

I would @john Found a nice venue

I would rather have a game of Elden Ring, actually.

 

[Jonn]

I think Rodafina is right coffee dates can be awkward I've been on one and it felt like a job interview, why haven't you got a career etc lol

Any venue can be awkward.
BTW, we aren't talking about a "date".

 

[Jonn]

Don't let the confines of rituals like dating preclude you from making a meaningful connection with another human being. But all of this still involves on fundamental reality. That you have to take the first step forward, and be willing to accept whatever happens as a result of it. And to the best of your ability, overcome your own sense of fear in taking that step.

I'm a little surprised ppl are talking about "dating".
I would have thought a shared "coffee" was simply a "getting to know one another" scenario.
Well, that was the context of my recent contribution.

 

[Jonn]

But why did you bring up my past there?

For one thing, I wanted to pointed out that you were bullied there.
It isn't a friendly place if you have a different narrative.
And through implication, I was saying this is a more sympathetic website.

BTW, You may have noticed I gave you a "friendly" at the time, showing sympathy.

 

[Jonn]

Probably because it seems your past is all that matters to you.

That wasn't in my mind.
I was making the observation that Markness has been talking about a desire for a GF for years.
My understanding is that he hasn't been at the other place for a very long time.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I would have thought a shared "coffee" was simply a "getting to know one another" scenario.

I can't even have that unless it's with some man. Really I had several coffee hangs with only men and it's quite annoying. Even the last one when it was a split of women and I still ended up with two blokes somehow that ended up as one hang.

Even actually spending all day in actually coffee shops the past month is a yelling 100% failure rate even with one women I know this Sunday just saying hi and bye and another one just now giving me the cold shoulder. BTW they know each other.

 

[Jonn]

Even actually spending all day in actually coffee shops the past month is a yelling 100% failure rate even with one women I know this Sunday just saying hi and bye and another one just now giving me the cold shoulder. BTW they know each other.

I don't want to make you paranoid, but ppl do talk behind our back.
This has happened all my life.
Could this be part of your problem?

 

[Cryptid]

Probably because it seems your past is all that matters to you.

That wasn't in my mind.
I was making the observation that Markness has been talking about a desire for a GF for years.
My understanding is that he hasn't been at the other place for a very long time.

My mistake then, although he does seem to dwell on past events; and yes, not having a GF seems to be his primary topic; and my understanding, is that he is apparently not allowed to return to that "Other Place".

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I don't want to make you paranoid, but ppl do talk behind our back.
This has happened all my life.
Could this be part of your problem?

Who knows. Who cares. I give up. I am still going too these places just to get out of my terrible house but I don't care about finding a female relationship or a female platonic friend anymore because I now know playing the lottery I have a better chance of winning some money hitting some numbers on occasion. I had about a 30% success rate in the 5 years 2 months especially the past 2 recent years I really tried compared to the 0% success rate of finding a female relationship/platonic friend instead wasted some of my money on a useless endeavor.

 

[Jonn]

But why did you bring up my past there?

I did answer.

 

[Markness]

That wasn't in my mind.
I was making the observation that Markness has been talking about a desire for a GF for years.
My understanding is that he hasn't been at the other place for a very long time.

I actually had a membership there back in 2006 when I initially became clinically depressed at the age of 17. Even back then, people were telling me things like “You aren’t seeing or you can’t see the ‘Big Picture.’ (Without ever explaining to me what it was.)”, “If you don’t love yourself, no one can love you!”, “You need to be confident!”, “Go to the gym!” (I still don’t understand this advice.), “You need to think positively!”, “You’re only 17/18!” (I turned 18 that year.), “You need to be ‘kind’, not ‘nice.’ ‘Nice guys’ always finish last.”, and “Women are trouble! Don’t bother with them!”, amongst many other common phrases.

 

[tree]

Yeah.
They said those things.

So?

 

[Markness]

Yeah.
They said those things.

So?

Some of the things they told me I actually attempted but they didn’t go my way or I couldn’t understand.

 

[tree]

You repeatedly refer to things going or not going "your way."

I get the impression that you figure "your way" would be
Perfect First Time, not a matter of incremental improvement.

 

[Markness]

You repeatedly refer to things going or not going "your way."

I get the impression that you figure "your way" would be
Perfect First Time, not a matter of incremental improvement.

No one ever told me nor described incremental improvement. I was more or less told “Just do it.” or expect nothing.

 

[tree]

That's truly unfortunate.

But, you're better informed now, though, right?

 

[Markness]

That's truly unfortunate.

But, you're better informed now, though, right?

I am better informed. I just wonder where I keep going wrong.

 

[tree]

It sounds like you are still following the same idea.

*Get it 'right' the first time, or it's all over.*

I think nobody expected you, as a baby, to stand up and walk
on the first attempt. Or to start speaking full grammatical
sentences one particular day.

 

[Markness]

It sounds like you are still following the same idea.

*Get it 'right' the first time, or it's all over.*

I think nobody expected you, as a baby, to stand up and walk
on the first attempt. Or to start speaking full grammatical
sentences one particular day.

I didn’t feel that way about walking and talking because I honestly don’t remember when I first achieved those abilities. When it came to “getting the girls” or doing something like playing the guitar good, I felt like I was way behind and couldn’t catch up.