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Has my “time” come so to say?

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Hypnalis said:
"Best fit", by far, is trolling for attention.

I don't believe that's the case, but it hangs on a single photo in a single post, of Markness with a well known musician, plus a throwaway comment by Tony R.

Given that it's AF (i.e. we are rightly limited to "low temperature" methods), I'm out of techniques to try.
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Trolling? Seriously? Why would I pretend to be someone else?

I don’t know what photo you are talking about.
 
Markness said:
Trolling? Seriously? Why would I pretend to be someone else?

I don’t know what photo you are talking about.
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To my knowledge, trolling doesn't mean pretending to be somebody else.
Trolling is making comments that are slanted to get an emotional reaction from the reader
or to prompt an argument.

I don't know about any photo, either.
 
tree said:
To my knowledge, trolling doesn't mean pretending to be somebody else.
Trolling is making comments that are slanted to get an emotional reaction from the reader
or to prompt an argument.

I don't know about any photo, either.
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I meant in the sense of being accused of playing a character or game. I am not doing either.
 
Markness said:
I meant in the sense of being accused of playing a character or game. I am not doing either.
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Oh. OK.

You're saying you weren't putting on a false front.
I see.

When you say you feel bad or anxious or timid and
like you've messed up, you're not joking around.

I understand that.
 
Forest Cat said:
I think he means the photo from when you met the vocalist from the band Napalm Death at a concert. Picture of you and Mark Greenway.
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I don’t see why he would make the connection that I am a troll just because of that photo. Really, that’s completely ridiculous.
 
Now I am thinking he was using the word "troll" in the
more standard, non-internet sense.

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Putting up a photo could be a way of seeking attention.

The picture he's talking about is from 2023.
 
Markness said:
I don’t see why he would make the connection that I am a troll just because of that photo. Really, that’s completely ridiculous.
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I don't know, I just remember the picture and thought I'd shed some light on what picture it was.
 
What my post says is that if I hadn't seen that photo I would assume that Markness is an attention troll.

It wasn't intended to attract so much attention, and only did so because at least one person reversed the meaning.
I even highlighted "don't" in "... don't believe ...".
 
Thanks for the clarification.

1719092930396.png


The uncertainty arises with the word "but."

Saying you don't believe that was the case "but it hangs on a single photo" gives
the impression (to me) that you wanted to believe he wasn't trolling,
however it was a possibility, depending on his intention when he
posted the photo.

I don't know what the "throwaway comment" was.
 
I think @Markness is in very simple terms, being paralysed by the fear of being rejected. All the potential for spending time with the girl at the coffee shop can vanish in and instant. If you are lonely this perfect potential of what "could be" might be a very important thing to hold on to. It's a lot to lose.

So what seems like a simple action of "just ask her out" may look like he's betting a small stake, there's the invisible intangible emotional stuff we don't see that will be gambled on that seemingly simple question "hey do you want to go for coffee some time?" If that all vanished in the event of "No", that can feel quite traumatic.

There's lots of opportunities I missed when I was younger. Someone I worked with that I liked a lot. We caught the same bus every day, talked about cats all the way home or all the way to work. We were learning to drive at the same time. One day they turned and looked at me quite intensely and said "You know, I never talk with my partner like this..." she continued looking (I realise now) waiting for me to take the hint. Annnnnnd.....I didn't.

I've thought about that moment a lot and why I didn't take the hint, I kinda felt like she was trying to get me to take the initiative for a brief moment. But I remember feeling that if I did and I had gotten things wrong, (as I do often do in similar situations) there would be no more talk about cats or driving, or TV/music, probably awkwardness at work...etc etc. So I didn't roll the dice. I avoided the potential trauma of being rejected.

I feel quite silly about it all these years later. I have a lovely girlfriend now so I'm lucky. Maybe things wouldn't have been this way if I'd been in a relationship with my work colleague. It may have been great, who knows? But it is true, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I'm lucky it worked out in the end.

I understand the psychological difficulty when you risk rejection. It's not as easy being the one on the inside dealing with it. But you have to try and find ways to break out of it or all those potential relationships wil remain that for ever- "potential".
 
Judge said:
In his particular case, whatever you call it doesn't matter compared to whether or not he's prepared to actually do it.
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What about the "proverbial":
"Would you like to go out for a coffee sometime?"
 
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