Has my “time” come so to say?

[blitzkrieg]

If you don't take a chance on asking somebody out in terms of dating, then there will be no chance at all of receiving a positive response since the other person won't even know you are interested in the first place?

I sympathize with your situation though - it is difficult, especially for autistic folk, to ask somebody out and especially in a public place without any real history between the two people involved.

Perhaps you need to feel more comfortable with being single? It has been nearly fifteen years for you!

 

[Jonn]

Perhaps you need to feel more comfortable with being single? It has been nearly fifteen years for you!

My position has always been:
Focus on friendships.
Friends may have friends who might be interested in something more than a "simple" friendship.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

My position has always been:
Focus on friendships.
Friends may have friends who might be interested in something more than a "simple" friendship.

Yea and I have the Brooklyn bridge to sell you buddy.
That avenue has always and will always be a big waste of time and effort. Everyone of my 'friends' all know people who are already in relationships.
A 'simple friendship' . Okay you mean with only men solo or if it's with a women it's with plenty of her men and women friends .

 

[Jonn]

Yea and I have the Brooklyn bridge to sell you buddy.
That avenue has always and will always be a big waste of time and effort. Everyone of my 'friends' all know people who are already in relationships.
A 'simple friendship' . Okay you mean with only men solo or if it's with a women it's with plenty of her men and women friends .

Are you saying it never works for anyone?

 

[Mary Terry]

Yea and I have the Brooklyn bridge to sell you buddy.
That avenue has always and will always be a big waste of time and effort. Everyone of my 'friends' all know people who are already in relationships.
A 'simple friendship' . Okay you mean with only men solo or if it's with a women it's with plenty of her men and women friends .

That is untrue. I met my husband through my younger brother. They were college roommates but I never met him until after they graduated from college.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

That is untrue. I met my husband through my younger brother. They were college roommates but I never met him until after they graduated from college.

Well my sister is a level 3 autism so that sucks. All my friends know crap when it comes to singles as they are constantly rubbing it in my damn face how there sister, friends boyfriend, husband that I have to put on headphones or get the hell out of there.

 

[Mary Terry]

Well my sister is a level 3 autism so that sucks. All my friends know crap when it comes to singles as they are constantly rubbing it in my damn face how there sister, friends boyfriend, husband that I have to put on headphones or get the hell out of there.

You're missing the potential to meet a woman by refusing to be friendly with other people who probably currently know or will know a single woman in the future. That's short-sighted.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I'm tired of arguing. I tried all that crap.

 

[tree]

Being friendly is crap?

 

[Levitat0r]

There’s a worker at Dutch Bros. who I have chatted with when I’ve seen her working or on her break for the last few months. She told me recently that she’s on the Autism spectrum and she’s always smiling when she see’s me. This is making me wonder if my “time has come” so to say? Is this a golden opportunity to have another girlfriend finally come into my life?

I would say you very clearly overthink this stuff, and it's not going to help you. If you need to get your courage up, then work at it, but don't sit and try to plan it or strategize, because affection doesn't come from strategies, it comes from people seeing who you are, and that comes in the moment. If people don't like who you are in spontaneity, then they don't like you, and you move on. I understand it's terrible that that's where you end up almost always; moving on.

 

[Markness]

I was sometimes told these two things:
1) Women get tired of “bad boys” and will go for the “shy guys” in their 30’s.

2) I would “come into my own” in my 30’s.

Well, I am 35 now and I am still the way I was when I was 17.

 

[tree]

"I am still the way I was when I was 17."

This sounds like a pretty accurate self assessment.
Often it has seemed to me that you were behaving
as if you were younger than your chronological age.

 

[Markness]

I saw her again and we chatted.

 

[tree]

I saw her again and we chatted.

That sounds good.

Anything more you want to say about that?

 

[Markness]

I wonder if she wants to be my friend or not.

I wish women didn’t feel like they can’t make the “first move.”

 

[tree]

You see this person when she's at work?
Or where?

 

[Markness]

Only when she’s at work.

 

[Forest Cat]

I wonder if she wants to be my friend or not.

Just be yourself and be nice and positive. If she wants to be your friend, she will be.

 

[Judge]

I wonder if she wants to be my friend or not.

I wish women didn’t feel like they can’t make the “first move.”

Forget social protocols. With courtship the only thing you can truly depend on is your own initiative. That you either take the initiative or just continue to watch the world go right past you.

There's simply no place for shyness in the equation. In that respect it's always been your choice. The odds of a woman approaching you and doing all the work can happen, but in my own case I can only think of two instances. One landing me into a three-year relationship with a functional alcoholic. So it didn't turn out to be the miracle I was hoping for.

Yet the one who meant the most to me was when I took that initiative. I couldn't help myself. She was just too damn cute to let some other guy have her. I was so smitten I forgot all about being shy. That's where you want to be to get over that shyness.

From my perspective, that's how it's done. Evoking sympathy for being painfully shy simply won't help you in the real world.

 

[tree]

I wouldn't mentally elevate this to 'courtship' level.
That makes for anxiety, trying to follow formal
"rules."

Just talking in a relaxed friendly way, and not
beating self up afterward for not launching into
a stunning Lothario pitch seems like a good way
to go.