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Has my “time” come so to say?

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Forest Cat said:
I don't think anyone hates you. It's understandable that it's difficult, you have been alone for some time and it can be difficult to meet people. All we can do is try and try again.
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Why do so many here give me flack for my emotions, though? That feels like hatred to me.
 
@Markness
This "flack".

You are saying that you experience it as hatred from other people.
That you believe they hate you because you have feelings?
Like you are being blamed for something?
 
Markness said:
Why do so many here give me flack for my emotions, though? That feels like hatred to me.
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It's the internet, you can't expect everyone to be nice. But many people here have tried to be helpful and give you advice, can't you focus on that instead? Several people have tried to be helpful and supportive many times, they took the time to reply to your posts and they tried to help you, that's nice isn't it?
 
Forest Cat said:
It's the internet, you can't expect everyone to be nice. But many people here have tried to be helpful and give you advice, can't you focus on that instead? Several people have tried to be helpful and supportive many times, they took the time to reply to your posts and they tried to help you, that's nice isn't it?
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It is nice. I just wish I could say I have a girlfriend and that being an individual paid off.
 
i remember i brought this up, in case i ever meet someone new, i mentioned on how i feel i should say to that person, that sex and physical intimacy is important to me, it matters me, and if you, the other person, has issues or problems with sex and intimacy, are uncomfortable with it, then we won't be dating, we won't be a couple, i want to make that clear so that way we don't waste each others time.

I got advice on that and this person said: "If you put it like that - like a non-negotiable ultimatum, the chances are she’ll dump you even if you would’ve been compatible sexually-wise, been a great match for each other sexually-wise, because pushiness about sex is a huge red flag. You might want to think about it before you proceed in that direction .It’s a sensitive topic. Instead of bringing it up in a demanding way, ask her how she feels about sex and physical intimacy and go from there. The chances are you’ll be able to find out if you’re compatible that way without seeming pushy and creepy."
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
I got advice on that and this person said: "If you put it like that - like a non-negotiable ultimatum, the chances are she’ll dump you even if you would’ve been compatible sexually-wise, been a great match for each other sexually-wise, because pushiness about sex is a huge red flag. You might want to think about it before you proceed in that direction .It’s a sensitive topic. Instead of bringing it up in a demanding way, ask her how she feels about sex and physical intimacy and go from there. The chances are you’ll be able to find out if you’re compatible that way without seeming pushy and creepy."
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That sounds like good advice.
 
I am almost 36 and I am still alone while all four of my siblings are married and have children. Why did the universe decide that out of all five, I was the one to be cursed with social rejection and contempt?
 
Markness said:
I am almost 36 and I am still alone while all four of my siblings are married and have children. Why did the universe decide that out of all five, I was the one to be cursed with social rejection and contempt?
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I'm sorry to be blunt but this isn't the universe deciding anything. It's on you this time. You were indecisive in asking someone out and kept making up an excuse as to why not. Even if you asked her out and she said no, you would have people celebrating the fact that you at least tried.
 
I get discouraged because the times I have asked out women, the responses were “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that.” and “I am too busy.” That hasn’t helped my confidence at all.

I feel like I got lost somewhere along the way and I don’t know if I can find my way back.
 
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Have you noticed that you did, in fact, survive the *boyfriend*/*busy * responses though?
You didn't burst into flames and reduce to ashes.
Didn't fracture into tiny bits, turn to dust.
Didn't vanish in the breeze.

But it sounds like you told yourself something like
*Welp, that's it. She has a bf. I've failed.*
*She's busy. That's probably code for 'you suck, I wdn't go out with you if you were the last man on earth.*

Instead of *I tried, but she has a bf.*
*I tried, but she wasn't up for it.*

*So, I'll keep trying. With other people.*
 

@tree​


I am curious.
Could Markness be trying to engage with the wrong type of woman?
I have seen this happen with other men on the other website.
 
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