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Hiding it with alcohol?

Fatamsimth said:
Curious to hear how it works out. I was all or nothing. As I heard someone once say, "If I wasn't an alcoholic I would drink all the time!"
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Addiction is complicated. Society has stigmatized alcohol to the point that all you need to do is crack open a beer and some people assume you have a problem. But it’s also so socially acceptable in some circles that you might be seen an outsider if you don’t drink at all. And yet, every affluent person on TV drinks ‘top shelf’ spirits, but us average folks feel the need to lie to their doctors about our consumption for fear of being denied other treatment based on being addicted to booze.

I’m trying to unravel the knot. We’ll see how it goes.
 
Hey if you can manage it and it's not ruining your life, I say enjoy. If that changes, there's help available. For now you get bragging rights.
 
Fatamsimth said:
Hey if you can manage it and it's not ruining your life, I say enjoy. If that changes, there's help available. For now you get bragging rights.
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Liver.
Health concerns.
I’m healthy as hell physically. But my continued use for same conditions concerns me.
Moderation is best.
But drinking like AC and me leaves cause for concern.
Something to always consider.
 
We do what we can from one moment to the next, right? Moderation wasn’t an option for me. Just impossible. Brain doesn’t work that way when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

Less is better than more.

None is better than less for some of us.

Both paths lead further away from the darkest dark of addiction.
 
AspieChris said:
Anyone else covering it up with alcohol or ‘other’ mind numbing substances?

I’ve been a person who lives in a NT world for 5 decades. Got a great job, great wife (who understands), awesome child (also an Aspie at 15 years old), and I’m desperately trying to turn off the noise when I get home from work every day. I’ve been doing this off and on for 30years.

This is not a question about addiction, It’s only a question about bad solutions to a problem that has no solution.

It’s not a solution except that it solves a problem that has no solution. Test me for alcohol right now and I’m just a drunk….? Or am I just a desperate man who would rather numb my senses than lose my mind and wind up mumbling to myself until I’m homeless? My family needs me to bring home a paycheck and teach my son to ride a bicycle.

I know that I’m not alone. I’m hoping that there’s someone else that is struggling with a. similar problem.

Whatever your solution might be. I promise you I have tried it and it hasn’t worked. I’m only asking if I’m not alone.
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I did for years unknowingly. It's better not to in my experience. I didn't learn I had this until my late 30s. I excercise over substance use to hide it.
 
Alaric593 said:
I did for years unknowingly. It's better not to in my experience. I didn't learn I had this until my late 30s. I excercise over substance use to hide it.
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I exercised in my teens and early 20’s, a lot. I was a tough SOB (still am I guess). It’s peaceful. But marriage, house, job, child….. I can’t be at the gym and playing with my kid or cooking dinner at the same time. I tried exercising at home when we bought the house 20 years ago, before I knew I had ASD, but there just wasn’t time. I basically chose family over exercise, and I was getting tons of exercise at work. And it’s really easy to drink a case of beer whilst watching a movie on the couch with my wife.

Had I been diagnosed with Asperger’s beforehand…. I doubt I would have made any of these commitments. Most likely I’d be living a much simpler life and be single. Alcohol became my treatment for Autism. I tried therapy and other meds but nothing worked like booze. And most of my wife’s family are basically functioning alcoholics, so it’s really easy. If she hadn’t decided to stop drinking, this wouldn’t even be a conversation.
 
Rodafina said:
We do what we can from one moment to the next, right? Moderation wasn’t an option for me. Just impossible. Brain doesn’t work that way when it comes to drugs and alcohol.

Less is better than more.

None is better than less for some of us.

Both paths lead further away from the darkest dark of addiction.
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I always wondered: If a person lives to be 100, and drinks every day? If they’re happy and healthy? If they have good relationships and are respected at work? If they never get into trouble with the law or require ‘government assistance’? Are they an alcoholic?

I think the answer is both “Yes” and “No”. The unfortunate reality is that there’s no way to know until it’s too late. Nobody knows how their liver will handle it until it quits working. And you can’t know if you’ll get arrested until you’re sitting in jail.

It’s really too bad that I was not given more information from my parents about these types of things. I was told that it was bad to drink. Even one beer and you’re an alcoholic (even though they both drank a lot). So when I had a beer and life got better for an hour, and nothing bad happened, I subconsciously assumed that 2 beers was better and that I had been lied to. A couple of years later, I was drinking an 18-pack every night and I was happy. So now I have to try and rewind 25 years of drinking and start over. And the only real information available is to never drink again.

My parents failed me. Soooo much bad information. Good thing for me that I figured out that they were horrible parents a long time ago and disowned them both. Hopefully I can do a better job with my son.
 
My first AA sponsor used to say, "It's not what you drink, how often, or how much that determines whether you're an alcoholic. It's what happens to your life when you drink the amount of what you drink when you drink it." I know people who can really put it away, and may be doing some long term health damage, but their lives seem to be in working order. My life crumbled around me. My Dad still drinks and it's not pretty at 70, but he is also clearly an alcoholic.
 
Fatamsimth said:
My first AA sponsor used to say, "It's not what you drink, how often, or how much that determines whether you're an alcoholic. It's what happens to your life when you drink the amount of what you drink when you drink it." I know people who can really put it away, and may be doing some long term health damage, but their lives seem to be in working order. My life crumbled around me. My Dad still drinks and it's not pretty at 70, but he is also clearly an alcoholic.
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That’s the first time I have ever heard of someone else (other than me) say it. I had a psychiatrist tell me once: “ I have had patients who don’t drink all year. They go out on New Year’s Eve and get really drunk. That’s an alcoholic!”

I knew she was wrong but I was too young and naïve to argue back. Our society likes to make good people feel broken, which only forces them into hiding.
 
Fatamsimth said:
Unlike cancer, alcoholism is a self diagnosed disease.
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Yes. Unless you’re a Dr and there’s $$ to be made, or a narcissist and you get off pointing out everyone else’s problems.

My grandfather was an angry drunk. Spend his paycheck at the bar and come home to hit his wife. So my mother enjoyed calling anyone she could an alcoholic, even though she spent her 20’s (my youth) going out every night and coming home wasted. Obviously she knew EVERYTHING, and everyone else was just wrong. She was a closeted racist, drunk, and slut…. and ignorant enough to think that I couldn’t see it.
 
AspieChris said:
always wondered: If a person lives to be 100, and drinks every day? If they’re happy and healthy? If they have good relationships and are respected at work? If they never get into trouble with the law or require ‘government assistance’? Are they an alcoholic?
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I’ve wondered as well, and I agree with your assessment that often times the answer can be yes and no together.

I do believe there are people out there who could fall into this category, but I learned the hard way over time that I am not one of them. I think I would have to add to the list: do drugs and alcohol consume every waking thought and provide all of your motivation to live?

From afar, many people considered me a functional addict/alcoholic, but from the inside, there was no functioning going on. It was pure survival from one moment to the next.
 
ra49 said:
Well that didn't work :(
I tried to send hearts to all of you but it didn't want to
Please everyone do take good care
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That is so sweet. It's the thought that counts!
I know this is off-topic but I wanted to tell you I think your profile picture is adorable!!
 
I was functional with being an alcoholic for 3 years . I had to drink everyday ,at every family function ,at every interaction with people . Never to get trashed but to relax all my anxiety and to help sleep and try to help me be social. And if there was problems in my relationship, instead of learning how to communicate I just drank .

I realized I was going down a dark path and quit cold turkey . I had bad shaking and felt like I was dying for a few weeks . It eventually went away .

I won’t lie Alcohol worked very well for me . I realized this is only temporary solution, but the dependency was the problem . I realized this will get very dangerous very fast . There is so much more I wanted to do with my life at that point instead of being dependent on alcohol to function .

I didn’t drink for a few years after .
Now I can have a drink on occasion and enjoy myself .
 
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