I am newly self diagnosed with Aspergers, although I have known my entire life something is innately different about me. Since I do not have a formal diagnosis, please do not take this post with 100% accuracy that my thoughts truly reflect the thoughts of those on the Autism spectrum. After much observation of people, social interactions, and the rational behind society from a young age, I have learned a lot. I was unable to connect with a lot of people and had to learn to make these connections on my own through observation. I still struggle with it daily, but this is what I would like NT people to realize about people with Aspergers. NT people maintain strong social connections and relate well to the other people around them. They absorb what others tell them and they reflect the ideals the majority of society deems to be valuable. NT people, in a sense, have conformed to "group think" whereby they are strongly linked to others around them. People with Aspergers have a difficult time connecting in the way NT people can. They are subsequently left to their own devices to form opinions of the world. They observe the world far differently because they are not swayed by the opinions of others. They have intense interests and begin to think of things on a far different level than NT people because they can see the situation through an objective perspective where as NT people tend to see the world through the perspective most likely to connect them with others.
An example of this is fashion. A lot of women with Aspergers claim to be baffled by fashion from a young age, whereas many NT girls seem to pick up this social norm with little difficulty. It is difficult for me to wrap my mind around something so "concrete" as style and yet something that is cute one year is completely disregarded the next year, making fashion very fluid and subjective. Many NT women, however, claim they would die for a handbag or will wear things with popular patterns, like chevron for example. In my mind, I do not understand how a pattern could be "cute". It is the organization of color and something of permanence. The shirt with chevron that is in this year will continue to exist and in ten years the shirt will still have the same pattern. That shirt will long be out of style, but the shirt itself has not changed. The pattern is deemed important by those at the head of the fashion industry. People begin to see others wear it and like the appearance of others, and then they buy the item for themselves and the cycle of style continues. The point is NT people will do things and pick up likes and interests by what others around them are interested in because they are so well connected to each other. People with Aspergers will have a difficult time with this if they do not truly like what is in at the moment or they will just not try to conform at all, making them odd, eccentric, or outcasts. When people with Aspergers call into question the validity of these social norms, NTs are not able to understand why Aspies cannot understand. NTs will say I just like it because I do and they will feel no need to go further into why they like something where as an Aspie will have exact reasoning behind why they or dislike anything. The reasoning may not make sense, but at least it there are definitive examples.
For me, I love this rotary telephone I got on ebay two years ago. I love the color because it is a pale teal, reminding me of the sixties, an interesting decade I wish I could have experienced. I love the weight of the phone in my hand because it is solid and strong, not easily broken. I love turning each number on the dial because it makes every number in a phone number significant and purposeful. The dial slowly spins and clicks as it adjusts itself back to zero after each number is entered, giving me a feeling of tranquility. Hanging up the phone and resting it back on its holder is so official an complete at the end of a phone call. It says we had a conversation and it has now concluded. I also love any large corded phone because I remember watching Babes in Toyland when I was younger and loved the phone Drew Barrymore used at the beginning of the film. Something about a good phone makes communicating so much easier.
I do not think someone who is NT would quite like an object, action, word, thought, smell, sight, music, drawing, sound, or person with such vivid intensity and clarity as an Aspie. They are just not able to detach themselves from the social world and observe the way Aspies can. I don't think I am NT, so just as there are such strong emotions Aspies can feel toward inanimate objects, thoughts, and actions, I am sure there are things NTs can do that are amazing that Aspies have no capability of comprehending.
Sorry this is so long!
