If you are on the autistic spectrum, are you or have you been in a romantic relationship?

[Steelbookcollector217]

Nope, never in my entire life. Never been on a date or ever kissed a girl. Never even had a true female friend. They are all fake female friends who pretend to care but never want to even walk two blocks with me solo. Never want to grab a bite or coffee as casual friends. Even that stupid textationship which made me hate even more seeing Platonic guy girls hanging out. Never. My odds are 0% now. I wasted 5 years of my life busting my ass socializing, joining multiple groups and different events. Even two churches, but every damn time only couples and men would ask and bother me. Men would pester me to get coffee with them. There could be 20 women in a group and one guy and the stupid guy would ask for my number to hang to eat out every damn time every damn group. I am so stressed I recovered from an autistic burnout to think I had a Platonic friendship from that flake which stressed me more now I am at the tipping point, swearing again and not caring about no one.

yeah, it makes me even wonder why not even once, Tony never even accidentally stumbled upon a woman who would be interest in him in his younger years, or never once had a woman express interest in him, but yeah, when i first found out about Tony's situation, it was like another mental/emotional torture for me.

 

[tree]

the gender is not disclosed when i clicked

 

[Jonn]

the gender is not disclosed when i clicked

I had to learn to click twice too.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

yeah, i refuse to call my last partner an ex-girlfriend, yeah i'll never forget what someone wrote to me, probably the worst comment i ever received on this site

 

[Tony Ramirez]

yeah, it makes me even wonder why not even once, Tony never even accidentally stumbled upon a woman who would be interest in him in his younger years, or never once had a woman express interest in him, but yeah, when i first found out about Tony's situation, it was like another mental/emotional torture for me.

I know I had too many false positives. I thought I had women flirt with me only to say they don't want a relationship to having a boyfriend or husband every time. When they actually don't flirt they are single and not interested and I can tell.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

I know I had too many false positives. I thought I had women flirt with me only to say they don't want a relationship to having a boyfriend or husband every time. When they actually don't flirt they are single and not interested and I can tell.

yeah, cases like you, are a reminder that, its like women are the only gender that are owed a relationship, owed dating/mating opportunities, but men are not. Because when you are the gender when things just literally come to you, its like you always have options.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I know I am going to be forever single and there is not a damn thing I can do to ever change it.

 

[tree]

yeah, cases like you, are a reminder that, its like women are the only gender that are owed a relationship, owed dating/mating opportunities, but men are not. Because when you are the gender when things just literally come to you, its like you always have options.

It's only *like* that in some people's imaginations, I think.

Nobody is "owed" a relationship.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

It's only *like* that in some people's imaginations, I think.

Nobody is "owed" a relationship.

yeah, just speaking of my depressed resentment, that even long before i joined this site, forum, i've noticed over the years, that extreme cases of people being forever alone, single, as in, never having dated or never having been in a relationship before, the cases are male-dominated, even one of the users on this site admitted herself when she has seen or observed on other autism sites or other forums, the number of lonely men struggling to get a date or get into a relationship, has always outnumber the amount of women like that by a huge margin.

However, yes it does happen to women too, just i doubt not as much as it happens to men, Tony even said his sister is almost 40 and she's never dated, never had a boyfriend either, and i think he says her type 3 autism, a severe one, has prevented that.

 

[jsilver256]

yeah, just speaking of my depressed resentment, that even long before i joined this site, forum, i've noticed over the years, that extreme cases of people being forever alone, single, as in, never having dated or never having been in a relationship before, the cases are male-dominated, even one of the users on this site admitted herself when she has seen or observed on other autism sites or other forums, the number of lonely men struggling to get a date or get into a relationship, has always outnumber the amount of women like that by a huge margin.

I see a lot of differences between the posters who cannot get relationships and the posters who have had success in finding romantic relationships just by posting style alone. I suspect these differences translate to real life as well.

 

[Magna]

Is it primarily about sex? Sure, it's more layered than that. People want companionship, to love and to be loved, affection, etc, but all of those things can be obtained without having a romantic partner. People can have friendships of all different types (ie companionship). People can love friends and can even love a pet. People can receive affection from pets in return. Platonic friends often give each other hugs.

So really, are we always ultimately talking about the desire for sex/sexual partner when this topic is discussed?

 

[Jonn]

So really, are we always ultimately talking about the desire for sex/sexual partner when this topic is discussed?

I think I indicated initially that a sexual component is part of the context of this thread.

BTW, I have no further interest in a sexual relationships.
Platonic friendships are much less complicated and superior, in my book.

 

[c flat]

Not yet.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

I see a lot of differences between the posters who cannot get relationships and the posters who have had success in finding romantic relationships just by posting style alone. I suspect these differences translate to real life as well.

yeah, i think even genetic and DNA studies, research, has confirmed that, more women than men throughout history, have passed on their genes, DNA. Yes, i think its socially accepted among most people, that dating is generally harder for men, many people will say "men have the burden of performance".

 

[WK6824Nine]

No, I reluctantly accepted I was Aro-Ace in 2021, the idea of sort of owning(to put it bluntly dont attack me), adoring, being passionate about a cute(shallow yeah maybe) someone and doing both the chores/mundane and fun things together is interesting in theory/in my mind/mental fantasies. I suspect my brother may be asexual and i think its reasonable concern that my mother is worried the family name wont continue

 

[jsilver256]

yeah, i think even genetic and DNA studies, research, has confirmed that, more women than men throughout history, have passed on their genes, DNA. Yes, i think its socially accepted among most people, that dating is generally harder for men, many people will say "men have the burden of performance".

To clarify my post, I see distinct posting differences in male posters who have had prior success in dating and male posters who involuntarily have not.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Note that us who have been successful have long lived relationships.

 

[Magna]

To clarify my post, I see distinct posting differences in male posters who have had prior success in dating and male posters who involuntarily have not.

Can you give some examples of what you see as differences?

 

[Kavigant]

Back when I was thin and had hair, I was usually able to find romance fairly easily. But I usually chose the wrong people and could never actually make a long-term relationship work.
I realize now that I was also very shallow, selfish, self-centered, and hypersexual back then. I was WAY too focused on sex.
I'm sure I hurt several of my exes (not physically), and I've apologized to them. I even attempted suicide.
Only years of counseling and a special interest of "understanding and improving myself" has helped.
Thanks to therapy, lots of very difficult work on my self, and meeting an incredibly supportive and understanding woman, I've been very happily married for over twenty years and have four kids.
I'm so glad I stuck around to see how the rest of my story went.

 

[Jonn]

To clarify my post, I see distinct posting differences in male posters who have had prior success in dating and male posters who involuntarily have not.

And what are those differences?