• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

If you were honest with yourselves, how many of you hate having this condition?

Rodafina said:
To those that can see any glimmer of something different than hating and pitying themselves for being autistic, I would encourage you to have a little hope.

In your time of doubt, look to the people here on the forum who have made very good and decent lives for themselves. There are people right here among us who can say, “my life is pretty okay” and they do not dwell on misery. Does this mean that they have led easy lives? Oh no. It just means that they see the challenges before them as problems to solve and they know that life is tough for everyone, not just us. These are the forum folk who persevered through great hardship and did not get swallowed up by the notion that “life would be better if I was just someone wholly different than I am.”

Nobody in this life gets a free pass to feel happy and content all the time. We all must pass through difficult feelings. But focusing only on all the hurt allows us to forget about resilience, adaptability, and learning as we go.

Perhaps it will take leaning on some support, perhaps it will take an enormous change, but never give up on the notion that you can at the very least be at peace with yourself.
Click to expand...
means they were lucky. seeing others having great lives doesn't make me feel better.
 
Boogs said:
To go through the motions of forever repeating what went before for the sake of reaching the next day when the same thing happens, doesn't seem like living to me.
Click to expand...
it isn't wich is my point, but theres no other choice.
 
Slyfox said:
means they were lucky. seeing others having great lives doesn't make me feel better.
Click to expand...
If you call it luck, you are not noticing how hard they worked.

It’s not about seeing others have great lives, it’s about learning from others who have worked hard to develop a perspective that all people suffer and none of us are all that special in our suffering. It’s about having role models who no longer dwell in self hate and pity.
 
And how can I live in peace with autism when there's so much to be fearful about having autism?

"Autistics are more likely to become homeless"

"Autistics are more likely to develop epilepsy"

"Autistics are more likely to become murder/rape victims"

"Autistics are more likely to get Parkinson's disease"

"The lifespan for autistics is short"

"Autistics are more likely to commit suicide"


Living in fear of my own body because I don't feel physically normal after reading such scary stuff about how our bodies are different (different blood types, gut bacteria, heartbeat, risk of developing epilepsy which is why I'm scared to drive, etc) and how we're more likely to have bad things happen to us like becoming homeless due to nobody caring about our wellbeing or us struggling in employment, and walking down the street knowing I look weird because apparently "NTs can know everything what's going on inside your head and your whole life based on your body language no matter how much you try to hide it", living in fear of change that you can't control - all these fear factors also contribute to my hatred of autism. It makes me realise how unlucky I am, that something bad is going to happen to me just because I'm on the spectrum.
 
My point is to put in the hard work to make life better for yourself. I accept that some people will unfortunately dwell in resentment, misery, and self hatred for all time. Far be it for me to change their minds, but I am speaking to people who have some hope for living a less loathsome life.
 
All I do is hold on to the hope that I was misdiagnosed and that I don't have it at all and instead it's all just the ADHD and anxiety disorder.

If you ask why that is, see post #267.
 
Misty Avich said:
All I do is hold on to the hope that I was misdiagnosed and that I don't have it at all and instead it's all just the ADHD and anxiety disorder.

If you ask why that is, see post #267.
Click to expand...

But it doesn't matter what they diagnose you with, is not like doctors can slap you disorders if you don't have it.
 
NB79 said:
But it doesn't matter what they diagnose you with, is not like doctors can slap you disorders if you don't have it.
Click to expand...
I know but I think of the possibilities that I could have been misdiagnosed, then I see posts on autism sites and Facebook groups with things like "is emetophobia common in autism?" with all the replies being "yeah, I think I have autism, and I have emetophobia!" It's like everyone "wants" to have this frightening disorder, while I'm like "no, no, please don't add confirmation that I have it because I have other disorders that I didn't know were so common with autism!"

It seems everything is related to autism. Why don't they just put everyone in the world on the spectrum and be done with it? Because that is where it's heading.
 
Never think of that aspect, because of late diagnosis and thus, just trying to negotiate my life around dealing with it.

I don't however, see that I have autism; but Asperger's syndrome, because that is what I was diagnosed with.

What I wish truly I did not have was social anxiety and agoraphobia. I hate being so aware of others, because it truly does stunt my life.
 
It wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't of taken Asperger's syndrome out of the criteria. If anything they should have made Asperger's syndrome a separate condition to autism, as Asperger's syndrome is just as similar/different to autism as what Fragile-X syndrome and ADHD are to autism; all share a lot of symptoms with autism but are still separate diagnosable disorders.
 
Rodafina said:
My point is to put in the hard work to make life better for yourself. I accept that some people will unfortunately dwell in resentment, misery, and self hatred for all time. Far be it for me to change their minds, but I am speaking to people who have some hope for living a less loathsome life.
Click to expand...
and for those who cant work hard? i cant handle full time work. its too much and casues mental breakdowns.
 
Slyfox said:
and for those who cant work hard? i cant handle full time work. its too much and casues mental breakdowns.
Click to expand...
I struggle in the working world too. And having ADHD can cause me to struggle with following my dreams, as I don't have that intense focus thing that most autistics are blessed with. Life can be so hard for those of us who sit on the "too NT to be autistic, too autistic to be NT" division line. That's what it feels like for me anyway.

Plus executive dysfunction is a thing, although we'll probably be advised to "go to therapy" for that. 😂
 
Slyfox said:
and for those who cant work hard? i cant handle full time work. its too much and casues mental breakdowns.
Click to expand...
@Slyfox
The only “hard work” I was talking about was the concerted effort to change one’s perspective from self hate to self acceptance.

I too am having an impossible time with working full time.
 
thejuice said:
Good old useless therapy, the silver bullet for everything apparently. At least the therapist's are making bank.
😁
Click to expand...
Sure, you joke, but for some of us, therapy has helped a great deal and for others, it saved our lives. It is just one means of support that may help people. When people suggest it, they are very likely trying to help and offer an idea that was helpful to them. I don’t see any reason to be derisive of one tool that people can use when they are suffering.
 
Often they're being passive aggressive too. My experience is it was absolutely useless. I'm glad it's helped somebody.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom