Losing yet another friend?

[tree]

It’s not too late at my age?

How many times are you going to ask that same question?

 

[Levitat0r]

The world is a temp file...
Secret destroyers...
Deallocate your storage....?
And what do I get?
For my pain?
An empty folder.

-- (not) Billy Corgan

 

[Markness]

How many times are you going to ask that same question?

I don’t know. I tend to fear that my past indeed equals my future.

 

[Cryptid]

The past is dead. The future is an illusion. All that matters is now.

 

[tree]

I tend to fear that my past indeed equals my future.

Yes, you do appear to believe that.

What would you recommend to a person with that sort of idea?

 

[Markness]

Yes, you do appear to believe that.

What would you recommend to a person with that sort of idea?

I don’t know because I haven’t gotten out of my own rut.

 

[tree]

I don’t know because I haven’t gotten out of my own rut.

You are so firmly entrenched in the belief that the past
determines your future that you can't imagine any other
reality?

 

[Markness]

You are so firmly entrenched in the belief that the past
determines your future that you can't imagine any other
reality?

I find it very difficult and that’s because I haven’t had any successes since Jennifer moved away.

 

[tree]

What constitutes a *success*?

 

[Markness]

What constitutes a *success*?

Interacting socially and making a new friend or potential girlfriend instead of being ignored, rejected, or even physically harmed.

 

[tree]

So, you haven't spoken with even one human being
since last summer?

 

[Markness]

So, you haven't spoken with even one human being
since last summer?

No, I have but I haven’t made any new friends since that summer.

 

[Thinx]

Honestly that's fairly typical for an autie. Every 10 years or so I maybe make an acquaintance. Occasionally such a person might become a friend. It's how we are, @Markness.

What I do think is a bit unusual about you is that you don't seem to learn from being on this site where very often people raise this exact same dilemma, that this is typical for auties. (Tho not all of course). It doesn't mean you won't make a friend though.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Interacting socially and making a new friend or potential girlfriend instead of being ignored, rejected, or even physically harmed.

Sorry I hate to say this but when I felt my lonely I made a friend from the coffee shop and she approached me. We got closer when she came to my church and prayer night. Again I never pestered her or anything. Never told her to be my friend, ask her number. I got it by accident. Just asked her walking to the subway if I can text her and she said yes.

She is the most kind person you can meet. She told me so many nice things even after I trauma dumping on texting her, she still messaged me back. I did after posted positive things now. She is coming to my baptism next week and I pray she will be there. She said she is proud on my journey since she knows of my struggles.

Mark you need to find kind nice girls like her not girls like you are seeking. They will hurt you. Trust me they will either ignore you, most likely or dump you any mistake you make. I did pray and weep for you.

 

[Markness]

Honestly that's fairly typical for an autie. Every 10 years or so I maybe make an acquaintance. Occasionally such a person might become a friend. It's how we are, @Markness.

What I do think is a bit unusual about you is that you don't seem to learn from being on this site where very often people raise this exact same dilemma, that this is typical for auties. (Tho not all of course). I doesn't mean you won't make a friend though.

I am not sure how I should take this message.

 

[tree]

@Markness

I see it as an observation that you believe your situation to be so utterly
unique that you fail to notice similarities with other people's experiences.

 

[Thinx]

I just mean, that many of us here have very similar experience of social situations and unstructured social interactions, as you do. It is the main and central way we are different from neurotypical people, I think.

We sometimes find helpful strategies, and may have some luck, and may try improving aspects of ourselves we can work on, and find our way through our lives. All of us here are trying out stuff and muddling through.

Maybe find something you can work on? I think you have made some progress with the book you've been studying, and perhaps you could join a group you have an interest in or do regular voluntary work, these things give us satisfaction and a better chance to be appreciated by others and befriended.

 

[Cryptid]

I just mean, that many of us here have very similar experience of social situations and unstructured social interactions, as you do. . .

. . . the significant difference being in how we react to them.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

or do regular voluntary work

Please look for the girl who smiles at everyone and you back. That is dressed down. Wears little to no makeup. Is kind to everyone there. That is the one to approach, has a better chance to actually approach you if you actually smile, this is now 2024 not 1995 and to be around.

 

[Cryptid]

Please look for the girl who smiles at everyone and you back. That is dressed down. Wears little to no makeup. Is kind to everyone there. That is the one to approach, has a better chance to actually approach you if you actually smile . . .

This reads like a plot to a 1980's romantic comedy.