Purposely being ignored in social settings/Women hate me

[jsilver256]

same people here who have a partner or who got action

People who get action are much better experts on how to get action than people who don't get action, by definition. I would think if there is a serious attempt to solve this issue, you would take feedback from people like @Hypnalis and @Raggamuffin seriously.

Is that an admission you are not looking for advice?

 

[Mary Terry]

Grasp this for the millionth time they only I said only talk to me if they are in a relationship aka boyfriend or husband.

Nothing requires single women to talk to you. They'll talk if they want to. Your jealousy and resentment of them is illogical and mentally ill.

Please get therapy. It will help you.

 

[Mary Terry]

No this is not out of your territory this is actual men that are actually terrified to talk to women and these are women that actually think they are ugly they are actually terrified to talk to men so no you are totally wrong in this.

To bring up a dead horse again we are actually looking into therapists now and we're starting to get this started my father's looking into it so we are starting this is going to happen soon.

It's not a dead horse until you actually start therapy. Until then, it is the best advice anyone can give you.

The dead horse is all your threads about the same thing, over and over again, and your irrational and illogical jealousy and resentment of other people and your refusal to get therapy.

You need professional help, as soon as possible.

 

[saturnv]

You might see old men with younger women around, but they are widely viewed negatively and people know they are often doing it to take advantage of the power and experience difference because they can't get a relationship with a woman close to their own age.

Also, looking younger than you are has nothing to do with whether it is appropriate to pursue women half your age. (It is not)

 

[Raggamuffin]

People who get action are much better experts on how to get action than people who don't get action, by definition. I would think if there is a serious attempt to solve this issue, you would take feedback from people like @Hypnalis and @Raggamuffin seriously.

Is that an admission you are not looking for advice?

He calls advice hate. Thus enabling him to continue the self-pity and feeling like a victim. Blaming so many people time and again - when the reality is the constant in all these situations is him.

Therapy will help. But even then, a therapist isn't going to "fix" him. As with our replies on this forum, all a therapist can do is advise and guide him - he needs to walk the path himself.

He needs to grasp the nettle and realise these changes and healing need to come from within - there is no other way. Assuming that being in a relationship will fix his mental health is a selfish and delusional expectation.

He's entirely responsible for his emotions (as we all are). We can blame others for how we've chosen to react with our emotions, but that doesn't really get us anywhere.

Until he stops blaming other people and starts to heal, it will never improve.

Again - I recommend doing yoga again. Not for anyone else, not for other people. Youtube videos. Read about the 8 limbs of yoga and the yoga sutras. You'll see just how unbalanced and self-destructive your mindset is, and what changes you can try and instigate to see some inner peace and harmony.

Ed

 

[Aspychata]

If l am at a forum, and a multitudes of people all tell me the same thing, then l will start to examine my thinking process, and maybe realize there is a concept that l haven't been seeing. Just because a woman sees herself less attractive doesn't mean she has to date you, she needs to work on herself, go for therapy to have a healthier vision of herself.

 

[Kitsuna]

Tony, if you’re constantly walking around with this mentality, you’re just not going to find someone. I know this is blunt, but no one wants to be in a relationship with someone this bitter.

Once again, take action and finally get a therapist. It shouldn’t take as long as you’ve said you’ve been searching.

 

[Mary Terry]

I was reassured the tough way emotionally by a woman from church going through issues I connected with and others who I disclosed my autism after she disclosed her disability that I am not purposely being ignored and that I was always the most important welcomed person there.

Well, that's great, Tony, but by tomorrow you'll no doubt be posting the exact opposite of what you said ^ above. You have a distinct pattern of thinking everything is great one day, but going off the deep end the next day.

Please get therapy. It will help you.

 

[honeytoast]

You have a bizarre and frankly, lecherous way of looking at women.

I wouldn't be surprised if the single women you mention at church that "ostracize" you are just college students. You can be friends with different age ranges, but if you're just solely pursuing college-aged women as friends and you're 47, then yeah, that's pretty weird.

Just because you look younger, doesn't mean you are actually younger in age. I look younger than I am but I don't go after younger people just because of how I am.

 

[Markness]

Tony, if you’re constantly walking around with this mentality, you’re just not going to find someone. I know this is blunt, but no one wants to be in a relationship with someone this bitter.

Once again, take action and finally get a therapist. It shouldn’t take as long as you’ve said you’ve been searching.

You are correct. It’s a difficult pill to swallow but it’s the truth. I want to attract women, not push them away.

I second your suggestions to him as well. It only took one phone call for me to get it so there should be something similar for him.

 

[tkcartoonist]

He calls advice hate. Thus enabling him to continue the self-pity and feeling like a victim. Blaming so many people time and again - when the reality is the constant in all these situations is him.

Therapy will help. But even then, a therapist isn't going to "fix" him. As with our replies on this forum, all a therapist can do is advise and guide him - he needs to walk the path himself.

He needs to grasp the nettle and realise these changes and healing need to come from within - there is no other way. Assuming that being in a relationship will fix his mental health is a selfish and delusional expectation.

He's entirely responsible for his emotions (as we all are). We can blame others for how we've chosen to react with our emotions, but that doesn't really get us anywhere.

Until he stops blaming other people and starts to heal, it will never improve.

You hit the nail right on the head. He isn't seeking help in any way. What he's seeking is validation of his own bitter self-pitying, and he's been doing so often and so long that it's been clogging the new thread/status updates every time I log on, so I put him on ignore. Constantly playing the victim is one of my biggest pet peeves.

 

[Markness]

Nothing requires single women to talk to you. They'll talk if they want to. Your jealousy and resentment of them is illogical and mentally ill.

Please get therapy. It will help you.

My therapist helped me with a certain issue. I told her I don’t like it when complete strangers approach me in places like parking lots and storefronts, especially if they come off too directly or aggressively. She then asked me how women might feel about strangers approaching them in the same way and it re-wired my brain to take that account.

 

[Mary Terry]

You have a bizarre and frankly, lecherous way of looking at women.

I wouldn't be surprised if the single women you mention at church that "ostracize" you are just college students. You can be friends with different age ranges, but if you're just solely pursuing college-aged women as friends and you're 47, then yeah, that's pretty weird.

Just because you look younger, doesn't mean you are actually younger in age. I look younger than I am but I don't go after younger people just because of how I am.

I agree with you. Plus, women are not stupid. They know he's a middle-aged man, just by looking at him even if HE thinks he looks young. He's not fooling anyone. Women are not typically interested in socializing or dating men who are old enough to be their father. It is creepy to young women that he attempts to do so.

 

[Hypnalis]

You have a bizarre and frankly, lecherous way of looking at women.

I wouldn't be surprised if the single women you mention at church that "ostracize" you are just college students. You can be friends with different age ranges, but if you're just solely pursuing college-aged women as friends and you're 47, then yeah, that's pretty weird.

Just because you look younger, doesn't mean you are actually younger in age. I look younger than I am but I don't go after younger people just because of how I am.

I don't think there's actually any data on this yet. But the snowball is rolling, and it's starting pick up more snow.

Don't open with an accusation. First ask Tony.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

No some are in their 30s and older but they are all married every single damn one. The younger ones I know have boyfriends one confirmed it I meet him and had to hear how they meet nearly lost it the others would with the 99% odds being taken.

 

[Mary Terry]

No some are in their 30s and older but they are all married every single damn one.

Then go somewhere else where you can find single, unmarried women your age to "socialize with", rather than just complaining and blaming everyone except yourself.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Then go somewhere else where you can find single, unmarried women your age to "socialize with", rather than just complaining and blaming everyone except yourself.

Were the moon or Mars. There are no damn places in NYC I been to over 20+ places the 5+ years I wasted my life. I told my married friend the same thing.

 

[Mary Terry]

Were the moon or Mars. There are no damn places in NYC I been to over 20+ places. I told my married friend the same thing.

People have posted useful links to places where older people congregate in NY and made many suggestions to you. You chose to not go to those places and to ignore people's efforts to help you. You're just chasing your tail, Tony, around and around and around, in constant circles and never going anywhere.

Please get therapy. It will help you.

 

[tree]

RiseBoro | Older Adult Centers & Clubs


Is my obsession with only wanting certain types of friends aka single women sabotaging any friendships?
See Post #22 for other links.

Were the moon or Mars. There are no damn places in NYC

 

[jsilver256]

What he's seeking is validation of his own bitter self-pitying

What's unusual here is that typically, the self-pitying are quite sensitive to negative feedback and back off at harsh criticism.

So they don't generate endless threads, endless responses.

The only outcome of these threads appears to be endless attention.

Here's a link to help your father accelerate the search for a therapist: Therapists accepting Medicaid

Or you can just right now call 988 - NYC Health