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Reasons why I can’t let go of wanting a relationship

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Masked Man said:
All you have to do is go outside and you can see regular couples who are not genetically perfect who are in relationships.

No matter how physically attractive a guy is, if he opens his mouth and a lot of garbage comes out, or if he's a shut-in, or if he's rude, etc., he's likely to not be very popular - unless he's wealthy or has some other tangible asset that he can offer. For regular guys, you have to learn to communicate, have good grooming, and get out of your own heads. Being a kind human being helps too.
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In reality, I've seen otherwise.

You see when I was in high school there were many very pretty girls all around me but none of them played any attention to me at all despite how polite and nice I was to others according to my teachers and I think all that is because I was very ugly and also not as good-looking and dominant and aggressive as the other good-looking white kids.

Pretty girls in high school are truly evil in my opinion.

I believe you can be so ugly that no matter how nice you are to women or to others, women will want nothing to do with you because you're so ugly and especially if you're very ugly and also poor.

In my opinion the only way a very ugly-looking guy can gain social status and success with pretty women is if he becomes rich and successful in his career.
 
Sadly, working as a librarian has not translated to romance. I’ve seen co-workers get dates but it never happens for me.
 
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I don’t understand why a certain number of people in the community don’t want me to get better.
 
I've watched some videos made by another person on the spectrum who is in a similar situation as I am but he's ten years older than me.
 
Markness said:
I don’t understand why a certain number of people in the community don’t want me to get better.
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I'm with you, Mark, I cannot see romance happening for my ASD self ever again. It's one reason that I joined the adult website Xhamster.com to get that off my chest. There are a few ASD members on it, and so far, they haven't responded to my messages or friend requests for some strange reason.
 
I’ve been told that my caring nature and lack of aggression would make me a good partner and even a father. Sadly, it seems men who are the opposite are the ones succeeding where I am not. :(
 
OP, have you ever expressed interest in anyone before?

(And no, I'm not one of those hecklers saying "If only you asked a woman out every now and then, you would have gotten a relationship by now." I'm merely wondering if the problem is that no one you've expressed interest in has been into you)
 
Markness said:
I’ve been told that my caring nature and lack of aggression would make me a good partner and even a father. Sadly, it seems men who are the opposite are the ones succeeding where I am not. :(
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Know is the time to follow my advice the women your age are worried about starting families for them i's now or never. I talk to them my so is in a relationship with one. Get yourself out there Let them know you exist. My wife told me the biggest turn off is woe is me for women. As I said it's not following the NT model. if they see you being nice and respectful, helping out they notice, first in their mind, I need a dad for the baby I want is he it.
 
My opinion is that so many folks have lives regarding romance in life that play out as the following patterns:

Lust, lust, lust, lust.....okay, I really want love - peace of mind - "not simply a piece of ass."

Desire, desire, desire, desire.......okay, what I really need and want is actually something stable and realistic.

Even per myself, I think I fell into these patterns "in my head" from the start (in and around high school until ten years or more afterwards). I didn't get into the pattern physically, though. I just never could allow such. I don't consider myself in the very pretty people club, if you know what I mean, but I paid attention to model-good-looks folks, and I saw this pattern play out a whole lot more for them. All of them had to seriously crash and burn to figure out it wasn't correct or even sustainable. People do eventually choose to "settle down." Maturity and clarity was always more in my mindset compared to any NT gal. NT gals had to grow up, honestly. If I knew and could spot an ND gal from the get go, I might have won the lottery, if you will.

I guess, the point I'm trying to make is this: No one should feel inferior or lesser than just because you want actual love and a true relationship, even if you have had a mature outlook and intentions most of your life compared to all of those who just usually don't and have to make decades possibly of mistakes to figure it out. Keep your morals and standards because I promise you that they will win out.
 
FeatherBird said:
OP, have you ever expressed interest in anyone before?

(And no, I'm not one of those hecklers saying "If only you asked a woman out every now and then, you would have gotten a relationship by now." I'm merely wondering if the problem is that no one you've expressed interest in has been into you)
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Prior to asking my wife I approached another tenant, she turned me down, still friends with her she had boy friend at time, now single. So it not just about you they can make mistakes also and have regrets. Put yourself out there take chances. I had multiple options unaware. This is the catch 22 of autism I did not know.
 
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Ronald Zeeman said:
Prior to asking my wife I approached another tenant, she turned me down, still friends with her she had boy friend at time, now single. So it not just about you they can make mistakes also and have regrets. Put yourself out there take chances. I had multiple options unaware. This is the catch 22 of autism I did not know.
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That's definitely a negative side effect of autism: Having options you're unaware of (because you're unable to read clues)
 
The strangest thing is having a bright, son who is so good looking he could be a movie star very out going.
first job interview becomes manager joins dating site gets swamped by ladies does not take advantage. Life is weird.
 
My older brother had girls chasing him and he would reject many of them. He really took what he had for granted.
 
You are not him, I have two sons one is a magnet to women the other put a plan together it worked You are on the spectrum I gave you some examples of how us Aspies form relationships, follow these examples and you will be successful.
 
Markness said:
Sadly, working as a librarian has not translated to romance. I’ve seen co-workers get dates but it never happens for me.
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Do you work full time as a librarian? If not, potential partners might feel you aren't able to support a family financially enough and a lot of women want some degree of financial stability.
Librarian might be considered an unstable career too.
 
Yes women like financial stability, When I met my wife my first act was get her to change position, which she did
then encourage her to upgrade her education. backed her all the way Now she has as much education as I do.
Her mother visited use Once saw al the diplomas on the wall commented boy does Ron have a lot of diplomas, I just dead panned back half are Marie's. ThIs is how you must come across. If they see this in you they will notice you. Helping my new tenant, when she first moved in made me husband material.
 
paloftoon said:
Do you work full time as a librarian? If not, potential partners might feel you aren't able to support a family financially enough and a lot of women want some degree of financial stability.
Librarian might be considered an unstable career too.
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I don’t work full time. However, I’ve encountered people who are or were either homeless, drifting to one place to the next, or on welfare that were coupled up.
 
Markness said:
I don’t work full time. However, I’ve encountered people who are or were either homeless, drifting to one place to the next, or on welfare that were coupled up.
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The people you've tried to match up with, do you know if any of them were homeless or on welfare?

I have to admit maybe I've encountered people on welfare without knowing for certain.

I have been attracted to a few homeless looking people but they could've really been drug addicts from rich families getting their fix in the city, honestly. :/
 
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