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Would I be better or more miserable if I admit I will accept I will never have a girlfriend?

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Are there any single women at your yoga classes? Do new people join? There is hope for you, just because you're a man doesn't mean there's no hope.
 
Misty Avich said:
Are there any single women at your yoga classes? Do new people join? There is hope for you, just because you're a man doesn't mean there's no hope.
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No not really. Most are old that show up in the mornings. In the evenings I mainly have private classes and I find many of the younger students in relationships. I really hate it when they bring their boyfriends/parners/husbands to class. So it's a lost cause.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
No not really. Most are old that show up in the mornings. In the evenings I mainly have private classes and I find many of the younger students in relationships. I really hate it when they bring their boyfriends/parners/husbands to class. So it's a lost cause.
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That's a shame.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I know women don't like me. Especially romantically. If I admit it, will I be happier that I will be single for life or will I be more miserable? I think I will be more miserable because of the constant reminders of going out seeing couples and people I know developing relationships and having kids. It will just make things worse as I age.

I will try new things and go to new places but I will encounter the same type of people. Couples, married women, single men, old people and women who won't give me the time of time and it will just repeat its self. Now I will just wait for the usual replies from the posters here who have a spouse giving me the same advice that I am not trying hard enough.
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Yeah, the older you get, the harder it is. I've tried many strategies to meet other nerds. But they're usually the wrong age group. The nicest meetup group I tried was for shy people; they were so sweet, even though they were all about 30 years younger. Next, I'll try the non-fiction book group at my library. I was told to try game meetups, but I'm more into info and discussion. I started an aspie meetup, but only one person joined :( Those kinds of groups thrive in bigger cities.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Who says I don't love doing yoga. I do love doing yoga which is why I go. Yes that was my original intention but now I love doing it otherwise I would not cope with classes with mostly old people and men, private classes and few classes with attractive women.
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Oh good! I’m glad. So you’re still going to yoga?
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
And it does make me angry whenever people say it's never too late or whenever people say there's no age cap on love or dating and relationships because some things are just meant to be better experienced when you are in your young youthful years.

When you are in the prime of your physical body or physical shape or just highest peak libido or most stamina.

I remember this one statement from this one woman who was telling a guy on how it's never too late for him to have his first girlfriend and her response was "Because it isn't. My 72 year-old landlord and her 90 year-old boyfriend are proof of that."

But yeah I know for a fact and I'm sure most people in the world will agree that it's far more common for men than it is for women to overlook bitterness and resentment or a bad attitude in the opposite sex than the other way around.

A woman with the OP's attitude of this thread, will be in much better position to get into a relationship than a man will.

But yeah if you go a couple of pages back I will explain my reason for feeling better and resentful because I was in a mismatched relationship or we were just sexually incompatible.

I also made the wrong decision to stay with her for too long because I didn't want to become single again but more importantly I didn't want to have to go through the drama or the burden of having to court a woman all over again or not wanting to have to pursue an approach and have to initiate interactions with women all over again.

I've always hated and resented being the Hunter and pursuer and I know I will hate it until the day I die and until my last breath.

I didn't really have to pursue or Court or approach that last relationship I was in I was kind of introduced to her or set up with her by her cousin so it felt kind of mutual but we all know that the vast majority of the time the man has to do most of the work in the beginning in order for the relationship to happen or start.
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But do you realize the futility of feeling angry and resentful about the way human mating rituals have been for the last 300,000 years? You don’t have to like it, but it’s the way it is—and it’s not women’s fault. And I’m afraid that forming relationships always involves “the drama and burden of having to court a woman all over again.” You can feel exasperated by the whole process, but it’s not going to change. You’ll have to work on your attitude and your confidence and the way you project your personality.
 
I've been watching some u-tube videos on dating for people your age. your issue is not being on the spectrum but rather changed views on who gets into relationships. The world has changed.
 
It's difficult to know what to say. While I understand your situation, I like to say positive things, to remind you that you're not worthless and that there is still hope. Would it really make you feel any better if I just said that it is too late and you have zero chance of meeting anyone ever? Probably not, because that's not true anyway.
I try to tell positive stories of people I know who thought they had no hope but then actually met that special person, but then I be accused of rubbing it in or something.
When I see threads like this my instinct is to want to help and offer kindness and hope and even confidence, but I worry that whatever I say will be the wrong thing.

Or maybe input from people in relationships, especially women, aren't welcome in these sorts of threads? If that's the case then OK.
 
Kalinychta said:
But do you realize the futility of feeling angry and resentful about the way human mating rituals have been for the last 300,000 years?
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Yes, males have always had to compete in order to mate, but one thing that has changed is the technology that we have in our world today, i.e. dating apps. In my estimation it has made things more difficult for most men except for a small percentage who have a lot of money and or are very good looking. I suspect there is a higher percentage of men who are alone or have never been in relationship than in the past. This may very well be the case for women as well. Loneliness in general is a huge problem in our society and even the government has begun to recognize this as a threat. There also seems to be a more nonchalant attitude towards marriage and relationships given the abundance of divorces and single parent households. It just seems like a significant portion of our society is not in a healthy state from many angles. Physically, emotionally, financially, etc.
 
mw2530 said:
Yes, males have always had to compete in order to mate, but one thing that has changed is the technology that we have in our world today, i.e. dating apps. In my estimation it has made things more difficult for most men except for a small percentage who have a lot of money and or are very good looking. I suspect there is a higher percentage of men who are alone or have never been in relationship than in the past. This may very well be the case for women as well. Loneliness in general is a huge problem in our society and even the government has begun to recognize this as a threat. There also seems to be a more nonchalant attitude towards marriage and relationships given the abundance of divorces and single parent households. It just seems like a significant portion of our society is not in a healthy state from many angles. Physically, emotionally, financially, etc.
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I agree about technology. It’s alienating everyone and making us stupid. People don’t seem to know how to use it or handle it in a healthy way. I don’t really see people rejecting technology anytime soon either, though, do you? Online dating already seems weird to me. It seems so unnatural to meet people that way.
 
Kalinychta said:
But do you realize the futility of feeling angry and resentful about the way human mating rituals have been for the last 300,000 years? You don’t have to like it, but it’s the way it is—and it’s not women’s fault. And I’m afraid that forming relationships always involves “the drama and burden of having to court a woman all over again.” You can feel exasperated by the whole process, but it’s not going to change. You’ll have to work on your attitude and your confidence and the way you project your personality.
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Yep it fills me with a lot of anger and rage that it has to be this way so angry that it feels me with thoughts that I feel that are not appropriate for me to mention, pisses me off so much and I get even more mad and pissed off whenever people and Society still think men have it better than women do.
 
It is odd to me when a man seems to believe that he is somehow entitled to a woman of his own. While pursuing a relationship is a right, actually having a relationship is a privilege.

Wise up, boys. Women do not exist to fulfill your destiny, to produce your offspring, to gratify your sexual urges, or to even make your sandwiches. Women exist solely to fulfill their ambitions, not to support yours.

If women are not attracted to you, then it is because you are not attractive to women -- in order to attract women, you must first make yourself attractive to them.

Such simple concepts . . . yet many men seem to believe in non-existent misandrist conspiracies that were set up to reward only those men who are handsome, wealthy, and influential with the 'favors' a woman may offer. Such men will blame anyone and anything other than themselves for lack of 'success' with women.

Boys, if women want nothing to do with you, then look to yourselves to determine why. You don't need to be a genius to figure it out. If you can change what is causing women to reject you, then change it. If you cannot change it, then accept it and get on with your life.
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
Yep it fills me with a lot of anger and rage that it has to be this way so angry that it feels me with thoughts that I feel that are not appropriate for me to mention, pisses me off so much and I get even more mad and pissed off whenever people and Society still think men have it better than women do.
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Well, I would suggest you find a way to get your rage sorted out before it makes you sick. And you really can’t simultaneously want a relationship with a woman while also thinking that we’re spoiled, entitled you-know-whats who don’t have gender-specific problems of our own. Approaching women with an attitude like that…you’re never going to get anywhere.
 
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