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Would I be better or more miserable if I admit I will accept I will never have a girlfriend?

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"I look back on my youth with a sense of regret. It's almost as though I am grieving for something that didn't take place. I feel there's a stack of fond memories that aren't available to me, or a set of experiences that I didn't have.

I don't know what it's like to be in love when you're very young, I don't know what it's like to take those steps in the world with a member of the opposite sex, that innocent, experimental, fun time - and that leaves me with a sense of regret."

That's the part of the article I was very moved by the most.

That's why I get bitter and resentful when I see couples out there younger than me, especially couples in the 18-25 age range.
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
"I look back on my youth with a sense of regret. It's almost as though I am grieving for something that didn't take place. I feel there's a stack of fond memories that aren't available to me, or a set of experiences that I didn't have.

I don't know what it's like to be in love when you're very young, I don't know what it's like to take those steps in the world with a member of the opposite sex, that innocent, experimental, fun time - and that leaves me with a sense of regret."

That's the part of the article I was very moved by the most.

That's why I get bitter and resentful when I see couples out there younger than me, especially couples in the 18-25 age range.
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Yes, that section hit home for me. Especially the part about grieving for something that didn't take place. I also liked the section where he talks about how our society worries of risky behaviors in teens and young adults but does not seem to be concerned for those you play it too safe and as a result miss out on experiences. More of us need to tell our stories because it may help others avoid the same mistakes. At the same time, it feels like I knew what was happening all these years but I felt like I had no control to do anything about it.

I will say that it is very difficult to be open about my experience with others and to be honest the responses on this forum show me that I have good reason to be fearful with sharing. Many don't really seem to try to understand what it is like to go through this. I think that is what many of us are really looking for on here. Rather than just getting all this advice thrown in our face. The responses show me that it is too risky to share my past with anyone that I know in my life.

When I was young I never had anyone I could trust to talk about my frustrations. My parents never gave me the sex talk or whatever which may not be that uncommon. But they also never once talked to me about relationships with the opposite sex which I think is strange and a parental failure on their part. At least never a long discussion - maybe just a sentence or two but it always seemed to be uncomfortable. They never really discussed feelings much either. Now I don't think they ever ask because they don't want me to feel bad. But a major failure in their parenting to have never brought it up when I was younger. Never asked if I wanted a girlfriend or if I tried. Overall, I just have felt unworthy of being liked by someone who I was also interested in because of many past experiences and how I have been treated by other people over the years.
 
Yeah I'm not afraid to admit that there have been times over the past several years or more that I've hated being born the male gender in regards to dating and relationships or just human mating
 
I am going to be 50 in 3 1/2 years and still never dated once in my life. Let's admit it. I am never going to be in a relationship. No amount of socializing, praying, joining groups, events is going to change anything. I am just going to keep meeting women in relationships everywhere. I know it's hard to accept and now I am losing sleep over it but I am going to have to accept that I am going to be single for life.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I am going to be 50 in 3 1/2 years and still never dated once in my life. Let's admit it. I am never going to be in a relationship. No amount of socializing, praying, joining groups, events is going to change anything. I am just going to keep meeting women in relationships everywhere. I know it's hard to accept and now I am losing sleep over it but I am going to have to accept that I am going to be single for life.
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Cases of men like you are just another depressing and irritating and enraging reminder
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I am going to be 50 in 3 1/2 years and still never dated once in my life. Let's admit it. I am never going to be in a relationship. No amount of socializing, praying, joining groups, events is going to change anything. I am just going to keep meeting women in relationships everywhere. I know it's hard to accept and now I am losing sleep over it but I am going to have to accept that I am going to be single for life.
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How much have you tried the apps or a match maker?

There has to be some solution to this, has to be some way for it to finally happen for you.
 
BewilderedPerson said:
It sure is, but so long as we’re breathing, there’s hope, nor is it necessarily a death sentence.
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Yeah I know I'm not afraid to admit that sometimes I feel that the male gender is dealt with the short end of the stick in human mating because of how cases like this are male dominated in which people can remain alone or single or a virgin later than normal
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Not after posting and reading this.
https://www.autismforums.com/threads/im-petrified-to-even-try-online-dating.44390/
I will continue my failed attempts which leads to nothing which is why I am losing hope that I know I will always remain single.
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The rare couple of relationships I’ve had have come from online dating.

I went through a lot of failure before I met my guest girlfriend, and I mean a lot, still had some dates. It’s tough. I’ve also had some of them cancel on me the night before or even the day of.

It’s not pretty, and obviously, if you’re not comfortable creating a profile, but maybe you’ve got someone in your life who cares about you who could help you set up a profile.

I commend you for not giving up and for trying in your failed attempts, but you’re also guaranteed not to find any success with online dating/apps if you never put yourself out there.

I have to swipe right or reach out to countless profiles before I ever get a match or her to talk to me, let alone a date, but it happens, and on rare occasion, so does some romance.

I believe in you, just want you to believe in yourself.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Not after posting and reading this.
https://www.autismforums.com/threads/im-petrified-to-even-try-online-dating.44390/
I will continue my failed attempts which leads to nothing which is why I am losing hope that I know I will always remain single.
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The rare couple of relationships I’ve had have come from online dating.

I went through a lot of failure before I met my guest girlfriend, and I mean a lot, still had some dates. It’s tough. I’ve also had some of them cancel on me the night before or even the day of.

It’s not pretty, and obviously, if you’re not comfortable creating a profile, but maybe you’ve got someone in your life who cares about you who could help you set up a profile.

I commend you for not giving up and for trying in your failed attempts, but you’re also guaranteed not to find any success with online dating/apps if you never put yourself out there.

Steelbookcollector217 said:
Yeah I know I'm not afraid to admit that sometimes I feel that the male gender is dealt with the short end of the stick in human mating because of how cases like this are male dominated in which people can remain alone or single or a virgin later than normal
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Maybe we are.

I guess what it is you’re looking for. You’ve had a failed relationship, but you also did have a relationship.

See, once I knew it was possible, I was less bitter. So, if it’s happened to you before, it can happen to you again.
 
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@Markness tried online dating, even paid money and he is employed and drives with no phobias and he got no replies and gave up. What are my chances? I am unemployed due to not completing college because I had poor grades due to no friends. I am also fat and ugly. So they are slim to none they are.
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
Yeah I know I'm not afraid to admit that sometimes I feel that the male gender is dealt with the short end of the stick in human mating because of how cases like this are male dominated in which people can remain alone or single or a virgin later than normal
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No doubt that men have it much more difficult when it comes to dating and relationships. Sure, there are instances of women being forever single, but it is much less common. I suspect that the problem has gotten worse given the dating sites and apps since women have all the power on there. My friend met his fiance on a common dating site, but she said that she got over a 100 messages in her first few days after joining. One week she set up a date for every day of the week. So I laugh when other members on here say how men do not have it any harder than women when it comes to dating. Not saying it is easy for anyone, but we have to look at the facts. Men get the short end of the stick in other ways as well. Men historically have gotten shafted when it comes to divorce in terms of how the assets get split up. Male lifespans are years shorter than women's, on average.
 
mw2530 said:
No doubt that men have it much more difficult when it comes to dating and relationships. Sure, there are instances of women being forever single, but it is much less common. I suspect that the problem has gotten worse given the dating sites and apps since women have all the power on there. My friend met his fiance on a common dating site, but she said that she got over a 100 messages in her first few days after joining. One week she set up a date for every day of the week. So I laugh when other members on here say how men do not have it any harder than women when it comes to dating. Not saying it is easy for anyone, but we have to look at the facts. Men get the short end of the stick in other ways as well. Men historically have gotten shafted when it comes to divorce in terms of how the assets get split up. Male lifespans are years shorter than women's, on average.
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I'm a woman but I agree 100%. I've been on autism sites for nearly 14 years and the instances of autistic men finding it hard to get a date has always outweighed the instances of autistic women finding it hard to get a date.
 
BewilderedPerson said:
The rare couple of relationships I’ve had have come from online dating.

I went through a lot of failure before I met my guest girlfriend, and I mean a lot, still had some dates. It’s tough. I’ve also had some of them cancel on me the night before or even the day of.

It’s not pretty, and obviously, if you’re not comfortable creating a profile, but maybe you’ve got someone in your life who cares about you who could help you set up a profile.

I commend you for not giving up and for trying in your failed attempts, but you’re also guaranteed not to find any success with online dating/apps if you never put yourself out there.


Maybe we are.

I guess what it is you’re looking for. You’ve had a failed relationship, but you also did have a relationship.

See, once I knew it was possible, I was less bitter. So, if it’s happened to you before, it can happen to you again.
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Ya but I still feel like a forever alone person because it didn't happen for me until later than normal, and plus my longest relationship didn't feel like a true relationship because she was mostly an asexual person, she wasn't really comfortable doing anything further Beyond kissing and making out, so it was a mostly sexless relationship and after that, since I wasn't getting my sexual needs or wants met in that relationship I ended up paying for sex a couple of times, I ended up going to escorts and sex workers because I didn't want to or just don't want to have to go through the drama or the burden of having to court a woman all over again, I don't want to have to bother having to lead interactions or having to approach and hit on or pursue women all over again.

A mindset that I have had for years now and I'm sure tons of other men in the world feel this way, and that is men have to do all the work or men have to do everything in order to make a relationship happen or in order for a relationship to be formed.

I get even more angry and pissed off whenever people say that men are not supposed to view it as work and men are supposed to view it as a joy and embrace it.
 
mw2530 said:
No doubt that men have it much more difficult when it comes to dating and relationships. Sure, there are instances of women being forever single, but it is much less common. I suspect that the problem has gotten worse given the dating sites and apps since women have all the power on there. My friend met his fiance on a common dating site, but she said that she got over a 100 messages in her first few days after joining. One week she set up a date for every day of the week. So I laugh when other members on here say how men do not have it any harder than women when it comes to dating. Not saying it is easy for anyone, but we have to look at the facts. Men get the short end of the stick in other ways as well. Men historically have gotten shafted when it comes to divorce in terms of how the assets get split up. Male lifespans are years shorter than women's, on average.
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It's probably because women are born with value, men have to prove they have value. If you are a man who lacks the ability to be playful and put others at ease with stimulating conversation, interactions, talk and behave a certain way, have a certain vibe, especially if you are not good looking, society simply doesn't give a care about you AT ALL. Women will usually have someone propositioning them at all times regardless of their weight, looks, age, or personality. Women are in abundance by default, women are always guaranteed options or attention from Men for simply just existing or for just simply having a pulse. Due to how for all time, women have always had the luxury of being on the receiving end of sexual attention.


When the titanic sank, men were shot if they tried to get on the lifeboats over the women and children. Men are basically utilities to promote the consumption society that is largely female driven, as their genetic drives pushes them to improve themselves to essentially impress and win over women as a main genetic goal having to out-compete with other men. This includes giving their lives for said women, but of course not all men share these traits and many hate, resent being placed in this role.

That statement about the Titanic was definitely true and accurate and that's another reminder on how there's always been so much pressure for men throughout history
 
So reading these comments I am right since I am a non attractive man it is hopeless. Women I know as I seen don't remain single but men do. Also I know about four women who found there partner through dating apps but not one man and I always bring up that post when mentioned. Now you understand why I feel like giving up.
 
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