If you were honest with yourselves, how many of you hate having this condition?

[Jonn]

My school did not have any support or help for autistic children. The term autism was not known. Neither did they have any help or support for retarded children. But, they sure had fun bullying them!

My teacher tormentor is long dead, but I did have a fantasy of finding her grave and pooping on it.
No, I have no desire to do it any longer.

 

[Jonn]

Being only 5 I kind of believed that I had been naughty because the adults all thought so, so I didn't stand up for myself.

5 seems to be the "perfect" time for incidences that scar us for life.

 

[Crossbreed]

With some exceptions, I was a teachers' pet. Since I picked up most lessons quickly, I would help others who sat next to me.

Like me, one of my sons would often extrapolate more from the lessons than was originally intended.

 

[Neri]

I hate my ritual abuse experience.

This. Although I don't exactly hate it, because it's been a singificant factor in the formation of my amazing, creative, compassionate and resiliant character, the long term abuse situations I've found myself in, until recently, really have been sucky in a lot of ways. I wouldn't change anything though, I love who I am and I love my life and what I've made out of the cards I was dealt.

 

[Jonn]

This. Although I don't exactly hate it, because it's been a singificant factor in the formation of my amazing, creative, compassionate and resiliant character, the long term abuse situations I've found myself in, until recently, really have been sucky in a lot of ways. I wouldn't change anything though, I love who I am and I love my life and what I've made out of the cards I was dealt.

That is a very positive attitude.
I am glad you are embracing the silver lining.

What I said was really hyperbole, while being supportive of a friend.
I am actually quite stoic over the situation, but it frustrates me that so many are ignorant of what is actually happening in the world.

Establishments gaslight, and as a person who respects the Truth, I do like to highlight the corruption from time to time.

I hope you have settled into your new environment, and getting proper support, now. <hug>

 

[Misty Avich]

I feel like all my Asperger's is is having so many pathological fears and phobias and hypersensitivities to my own and other people's emotions. If you can even define that as Asperger's.

 

[Jonn]

I feel like all my Asperger's is is having so many pathological fears and phobias and hypersensitivities to my own and other people's emotions. If you can even define that as Asperger's.

Spoiler

Damn!
You are a mess!
Welcome to the club.

 

[mw2530]

I like the few exceptional talents it has given me but I hate how it has caused significant isolation throughout my life and has destroyed any chance at a romantic relationship.

 

[FayetheAspie]

I like the few exceptional talents it has given me but I hate how it has caused significant isolation throughout my life and has destroyed any chance at a romantic relationship.

I would not really say "any chance" but I do think it depends on finding someone of a similar neurotype who has the same or very similar special interests.

 

[mw2530]

I would not really say "any chance" but I do think it depends on finding someone of a similar neurotype who has the same or very similar special interests.

I guess so far that has been my experience. So it is hard to think that the future will be any different.

 

[Crossbreed]

I would not really say "any chance" but I do think it depends on finding someone of a similar neurotype who has the same or very similar special interests.

I guess so far that has been my experience. So it is hard to think that the future will be any different.

My wife turned out to be ADHD, so it can happen!

 

[Boogs]

I guess so far that has been my experience. So it is hard to think that the future will be any different.

That's psychological - the past is known, and we've survived it so far, the future is unknown and we fear the new because we haven't survived it and don't know if we can (because it's new, no past experience to measure it by). So we are evolved to rely on the known and spurn the unknown, unless or until we have little choice and must find new ways of living.

There's a real part of this in that old ways are old because they are the most successful ways found so far.
The new is a real risk, but again without that risk we'd stagnate and die out, it's a balance with feedback (if we start to die out we are forced to find change).
So generally we are attuned to thinking the past reflects the future (I'm simplifying to some degree) and this is the safer default way to think (whether that's real or not) because we fear to contemplate the unknown. It can be safer and easier to assume our needs will not be fulfilled, but that paves the way to always being unfulfilled. If it's genuinely accepted then that can be one solution, but if that's not possible then change (or death) is the only possible escape (plus some luck, but everyone need's that, NT or ND alike).

 

[Crossbreed]

That reminds me of,
“Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
but today is a gift.

That is why it is called the present!”

 

[Cutesie]

I hate autism or whatever it is that I’ve got. At the moment, I hate having discovered objects that help me cope. I’m in a psych ward, and they’re not letting me have the things that can make being here more manageable. I’m as suicidal as I get, and I already banged my head against walls a few times - something that I am better able to control outside.

 

[vergil96]

I hate autism or whatever it is that I’ve got. At the moment, I hate having discovered objects that help me cope. I’m in a psych ward, and they’re not letting me have the things that can make being here more manageable. I’m as suicidal as I get, and I already banged my head against walls a few times - something that I am better able to control outside.

Did you tell any of the staff? Maybe they can adjust your meds, help manage sensory stuff or something? Get you a single person room? Get you something to stim with instead of self-harm?

A piece of practical advice: act your worst when asking, appear distressed and overstimulated, this is more likely to get help.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

guys like tony and another guy i know of from quebec, are just another reminder of how cruel life can be

 

[Misty Avich]

I think I just keep it to myself now because the words "Asperger's" and "Autism" remind me of being that special needs kid back in school with a label that no other kid had or understood and it made me feel inferior and stupid. No, I'm not saying that is what AS and autism is, because it isn't, but I'm just speaking from personal experience here. Maybe it was traumatic for me and that's just why I have an aversion to anyone knowing I have it now. It's nice to be able to have that bit of control.

I just get worried in case I go missing or get attacked in the street and then it'd become newsworthy and my diagnosis would be mentioned, like "woman with Asperger's/autism goes missing/was attacked..." rather than just "woman goes missing/was attacked", because I really don't want the whole world to know that without my consent.

 

[Crossbreed]

...because I really don't want the whole world to know that without my consent.

I call that "being auted...!"

 

[Neri]

I think I just keep it to myself now because the words "Asperger's" and "Autism" remind me of being that special needs kid back in school with a label that no other kid had or understood and it made me feel inferior and stupid. No, I'm not saying that is what AS and autism is, because it isn't, but I'm just speaking from personal experience here. Maybe it was traumatic for me and that's just why I have an aversion to anyone knowing I have it now. It's nice to be able to have that bit of control.

I just get worried in case I go missing or get attacked in the street and then it'd become newsworthy and my diagnosis would be mentioned, like "woman with Asperger's/autism goes missing/was attacked..." rather than just "woman goes missing/was attacked", because I really don't want the whole world to know that without my consent.

Sounds like you think people with disabilities are "inferior". That is called "ablism". Maybe that is the problem? And yes, ablism is as offensive as other "isms", so while I know you don't like being pulled up about this attitude on an autism forum, I'm not a fan of ablism.

I'm not saying this so you will beat up on yourself or feel victimized by me, I'm saying it out of care and honesty.

I don't think your attitude does you any favours.

What do you think other's without autism are so superior about anyway? Or so called "non disabled people" compared to those of us with disabilities?

It's not apparent to me that so called "neurotypicals" are vastly or, otherwise, superior, in any way.
In my opinion, you and your beliefs about yourself, those that you judge "inferior" as tied to your childhood diagnoses and the unhappiness that you blame on that, how you see yourself, how you think other's see you, via how you see yourself is, what feeds into your unhappiness and you don't have to maintain beliefs that feed into your unhappiness.

Autism or other disabilities or differently abled "conditions" are anything but inferior. They may be different or make up smaller populations but they are not lesser, they are challenges though, for the vast majority of us. They are opportuities to work very consistantly on our deficits, just like how someone injured in an accident has to work very consistently in physiotherapy. Yes, it requires effort of a different nature than those without the condition, but that requires less energy and misery than all the time feeling sorry for ourselves and victimized by life, for having this condition. THAT is what feeds into the feelings of inferiority; giving in to negativity and feelings of hopelessness and lesserness.

I say this, risking offending you, which I have no intention of doing, and also being aware that the autistic proclivity for unabashed frankness and honestly can upset, and yet, I want the dead opposite for you. I want you to release what is hurting you, regarding the ablism, and embrace non judgemental love and acceptance and appreciation for yourself and your uniqueness and all that contributes to that, including your ASD diagnosis.

 

[Neri]

Can't you read properly?

So it's just a number you do on yourself and you use your autism diagnosis to do that? It's no use telling me you don't do it anymore because it's clear you do.
You highlighting what you wrote to get out of it reminds me of when people say "I'm not racist, but....".
You've, once again, gone on the defence and attack rather than feel the care and, ultimately, love behind my brutal honesty.
I care about you Misty, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I know you've felt stigmatized and shamed with your diagnosis and I'm sorry it's been so awful for you, being diagnosed so young, I really am. I don't want you to carry that shame and judgement around forever, I really don't. I want you to be kind to yourself like you never have before. You are a compassionate person, I just think you are a little hard on yourself and that you keep reliving the shame you felt when you were diagnosed and I wish you could reassess and let that go and feel a little pride to be in the camp with so many sensitive, honest, unique and interestingly quirky people, like I do, but, if what I'm saying just adds pain, then, I'm sorry. I'm just a socially clunky autist after all. I hope you can forgive me.