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KevinMao133

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  • Truth is, it’s easy to be calm when I don’t understand 90% of what’s going on

    I don’t want to understand the world, I don’t try to understand the world. There’s nothing for me to understand
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    I am the opposite of you, @KevinMao133. I can only feel calm when I feel like I can understand. It is a lifelong quest that I don't expect to ever finish - trying to understand the world.
    I just woke up feeling triggered

    It stems from greed. I don’t know what to do as I’m tired
    I actually sleep better when I’m on the road

    It’s only when I’m at home do things worsen
    tree
    tree
    Why do you suppose that is?
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    Stress, minimal incentive to wake up. It’s all going to change
    tree
    tree
    Stress?
    Stress *at home* but not when you're out on the road.

    Does the stress involve relatives?
    Or what?
    I am beyond confused right now

    I have a few documents I need to authenticate. The Chinese side says I have to do it but on the government of Canada website, it says I don’t

    Also I’m going to Texas next month so if I do mail my passport, I won’t be able to go

    I’m still trying to process everything. I can’t sleep
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Lack of sleep makes decision making and executive functioning very tough. Maybe you can make more sense of the documents after a nap.
    Right after Christmas is new years

    At least there won’t be many holidays after this
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thank God valentine day is not a federal holiday. I freaking hate that day. I try avoid going out that day.
    NTs seem to have something I lack

    It seems to others I give off bad vibes or bad energy, even though it’s not true

    I tried doing everything I can. I’m not going to back down, I’m not condoning bs. I’m standing up for myself
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Same here. Especially with single women which is why I seem to only brings me taken women which irritates me more.
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    Well I don’t like couples, you agree. I mean I don’t know, if I’m just awkward. Plus I was just thinking maybe I don’t want or need a relationship as I’m happy being single and I don’t like being tied up
    I keep asking myself this question: do I want to meet others and cultivate a friendship

    The answer is no, although sometimes I want to

    I don’t know, my desire is minimal
    tree
    tree
    Mixed feelings about it.
    Sort of a maybe, maybe not kind of thing.
    How to not be greedy?

    I don’t know. I’m still learning
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Me too. I try to lower my expectations
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Find gratitude for what you have.

    Remember people who do not have the things that you are grateful for.

    Be realistic about what you really need.

    Satiate your desires with important experiences instead of things or money.

    Find value in others having what they need, too.
    You would think after becoming a citizen, things will change

    I became a citizen 20 years ago, yet I still feel like an outsider

    Anytime I’m with a white person, I still feel inferior
    There are certain individuals, I won’t name names, that know nothing about what we go through yet love to comment on us

    Listen we all got our weak points. We all got problems

    But if you don’t know something, don’t comment. Don’t act like I’m your slave. I’m not, I owe nobody any apologizes
    A girl told me yesterday I should go home and that ethnic minorities don’t deserve love

    Man I’m a citizen and I have every right to come and go

    I laughed at her, knowing she’s broke and she’s nothing
    Screw it, I’ll say this

    I don’t like people who are in relationships. I don’t
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I agree. There so annoying. Especially every new woman I talk to is in one. So frustrating.
    KevinMao133
    KevinMao133
    my neighbour, whom I like, has a roommate that’s annoying. She’s especially told me today that my neighbour has a boyfriend. First of all, I don’t need to know that information. Second, not every guy wants to have sex with a girl just because they meet. I just want to talk, that’s all. Some people think they are better just because they are coupled up, no they are not
    If I got a million dollars right now, what will I do?

    Buy everything I want. Well everything I want only cost 300 dollars, so that leaves a lot for me to save
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