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Xinyta
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    This is my drawing of my character Val-Se. Just got done doing it too. It took... maybe 30-40 minutes to do, I think. And the facial expression I gave her wasn't the original intention, but I rolled with it and find I like it more.

    It gives "Did I do that?" kind of playful vibes. Which is totally her. She is impish like that.
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    You know. Looking at it more. It's like she is saying "Hey there. Wassup?"
    I'm getting a strong drawing urge again. Something I am figuring out as far as what I wanna do.
    This is a reminder to myself that I need to be better than I am.

    No more running.

    No more hiding.

    My mind become clearer with each passing day. The poison that takes hold, fading away. Negativity. What of it? It's a war I intend to win. Battle after battle of wins and loses. It all adds up in the end.
    I feel like with each passing day, I am understanding more of myself. It's only getting me to see that falling back has no place in me. I am stronger than I've allowed myself to be.

    Anytime I feel off, it hurts. Because I know my mind is trying to convince me to be unhappy for reasons that no longer apply.

    This is how I am feeling about alot now. I no longer like the negative habits of my life, and I am determined to break them, no matter what it takes.

    Though the song itself is something I'd reccomend to anyone who feels like thier life is out of thier own hands. Depressed, stressed, suicidal.

    You know. It's eerie how much this song matches everything that mentally happened to me. I'm starting to really think that I have been subconsciously telling myself something, through my music selections, for a long time.
    I've read it here plenty of times. I've been told this plenty of times by my Uncle. I have to let go.

    I need to disconnect thought and emotion away from my past and my so called 'parents', fully. I only feed the nightmare before me, by lingering.
    jsilver256
    jsilver256
    The only way I've been able to move on from stuff is to find something new to fill the void.
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    That's going to be hard. But so has everything up to this point. I will need to put some kind of conserted effort into hobbies or something.

    Though stopping my self-sabotage with trying to, needs to be fixed first.

    This never fails to make me laugh.

    God. It's been awhile since I watched Futurama.
    My day has been pretty good so far. Started walking again recently, and did it today early after I woke up. Helped my Uncle put some soup together, did a bit of yard clean up, and went to the post office.

    No serious problems, so far. Not feeling negative in the slightest.
    Happiness is a hard thing to come by for me. But I have found that there is nothing to hate myself for either. Once I strip away all my immature justifications to try and hate myself, it seems nothing is close to as horrible as I've made it.

    I have nothing stopping me but me, at this point. Now what am I going to do about that?
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