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I have been spending time today to reflect on myself. I realize that even with my progress. I've not been fully honest with myself. But I have started questioning the core problems. And all I can hope is that I'll find the answers.
It feels like a battle of wits with me facing myself. The darkest parts of me still on a endless mission to drag me back into the mental abyss.
I must deny the negativity.
A drawing I did today of Demile. Bit of a updated look with the hair. Went for BL3 Maya's hairstyle.
Feeling happiness lately. It's been damn hard to fight the urge to just behave like a child and spiral. But I feel the more I deny it, the more it becomes easy to stop it. A day at a time.
Feeling like drawing again. Already got some ideas to what I'd like to draw.
Mindset is everything.
Day 9 of the cleanse nearly complete. The final day is tomorrow. Then after that. I drink orange juice for the next three days. Cabbage soup on the third day. Then I am off the cleanse completely.
Day 7 of the cleanse nearly complete. Feeling like sharing some great Paper Mario music that fits the mood of the month.
Day 4 of the cleanse is nearly complete. I'm feeling good. Looking forward to tomorrow.
I find the binds that have held me, shattered.
Nothing is as it was.
Free to breath without pain.
The days and nights have a different flow to them.
The perspective has shifted.
No longer fearing the non-existent boogie man.
No longer feeling damned by the voices.
Just at ease with myself.
Free of the cycles that haunt my every moment.
The nightmare is dead.
I have no idea why but "pee turkey" is a combination of words that makes me lose it in laughter.
I really shouldn't be watching clips of 'Home Movies' on youtube, late at night.
Got a therapy call today. In the next 5 minutes or so.
I am a creature of the night.
Born from the darkness of one who's heart was never beating for anyone.
My passion follows the steps of entities who are not of humans.
Yet I walk in a body that is as frail.
I see and feel things that humans scoff at in disbelief.
A world without them.
My delight.
Drenched in darkness.
I am starting to realize more and more, how bothersome sunlight is to me. I feel safer at night. Frolicking in the shadows. Unseen by all.
Immeasurable joy and excitement
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