If you were honest with yourselves, how many of you hate having this condition?

[Jonn]

This condition does not bother me at all, the side effects of my stroke bother me more as it severely limits what I can do standing walking difficult.

I find my ADHD worse, but then, I do consider it is also part of being in the spectrum because studies suggest 70% of us have this comorbidity.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't understand this bias against you. <hug>

Neither do I. Apparently I should just "get therapy".

My ADHD is a lot more dominant than the AS, but I'm not so angry about having ADHD. Maybe because I was diagnosed later in life so I didn't have it shoved down my throat as a child, although I do feel annoyed and mystified as to why I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD in childhood.
I like telling people I have ADHD.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My youngest brother thinks he has ADHD the glass is always half full drives me nuts gets technologist diploma does after he lose one does not get one immediately immediately so joins air force then finds out phone company approached his college looking for graduate who lived in rural location he had to turn it down as he had signed up for military service. I'm the optimist he is the pessimist. Either way he retires in five weeks.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

My whole life I always felt like some body or thing was looking after me Then the stroke and not a year later the weird message "you are the messenger" Still have no idea what the message is.

 

[Rodafina]

@Chimorin

Your feelings are valid, but holding on to hate for being born as you were is a dangerous road to travel. Perhaps, the goal can be acceptance.

It is a great waste to dwell on the idea that your life would be so much better if only you were not autistic. The truth is, you don't know that, you never will, and you can't change that anyway. Thus, the idea of acceptance presents itself.

A very great number of people suffer in different ways in this world, but those that are doing okay are the ones who can accept, adapt, and learn to overcome challenges.

Being autistic does not mean you are doomed to suffer for all time. You can learn to adapt to some of the hardship that is before you now and it may not always be so hard. Use the strengths within to combat the challenges and navigate a world that is not really easy for anyone who has lived for long enough.

The choice is yours - you can spend your life mired in self-loathing and wishing things were different or you can choose to accept yourself and learn to change your outlook so that you can see a life of learning, curiosity, hope, and resilience ahead of you.

 

[Chimorin]

@Chimorin

Your feelings are valid, but holding on to hate for being born as you were is a dangerous road to travel. Perhaps, the goal can be acceptance.

It is a great waste to dwell on the idea that your life would be so much better if only you were not autistic. The truth is, you don't know that, you never will, and you can't change that anyway. Thus, the idea of acceptance presents itself.

A very great number of people suffer in different ways in this world, but those that are doing okay are the ones who can accept, adapt, and learn to overcome challenges.

Being autistic does not mean you are doomed to suffer for all time. You can learn to adapt to some of the hardship that is before you now and it may not always be so hard. Use the strengths within to combat the challenges and navigate a world that is not really easy for anyone who has lived for long enough.

The choice is yours - you can spend your life mired in self-loathing and wishing things were different or you can choose to accept yourself and learn to change your outlook so that you can see a life of learning, curiosity, hope, and resilience ahead of you.

Thank you for the words of wisdom, actually quite insightful (caught me by surprise in a good way). At the end of the day, I’ll wake up tomorrow, and I’ll have a good day or I’ll have a bad day. If it’s bad, I’ll be harping on about why X and Y sucks, and if it’s a good day it will be as if the past never happened. Like I said before, I need to wake up physically as well as metaphorically.

 

[Cutesie]

I'm writing based on how I feel right now, not caring enough about how it gets me into trouble: I hate autism. I hate those who say that it's not a disorder. I hate living.

 

[Chimorin]

I'm writing based on how I feel right now, not caring enough about how it gets me into trouble: I hate autism. I hate those who say that it's not a disorder. I hate living.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t relate to you on that if I’m honest.

 

[Cutesie]

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t relate to you on that if I’m honest.

The OP wanted honesty; that's what was given. I'm ready now to give up. I don't know what that means. Maybe something will change in my thinking, but I've been desperately looking for answers and finding none.

 

[Chimorin]

The OP wanted honesty; that's what was given. I'm ready now to give up. I don't know what that means. Maybe something will change in my thinking, but I've been desperately looking for answers and finding none.

Again, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t relate to you. I’ve been in that very, very, very dark place myself, and I’ve done very stupid things to myself too (which of course failed), and it only left me in a worse spot, I try again, even worse spot, it’s a vicious cycle, and it doesn’t make the problem go away. I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but despite the way I feel, part of me keeps going because I don’t want to let Autism beat me. If I give in it means it won, and I’m determined now to not let myself be my worst enemy, even though like I said, a lot easier said than done. I know you probably want to be left alone right now, but please, I know I’m just a random stranger, but talk to me about whatever if you want and/or need to. You remind me of me.

 

[Jonn]

A very great number of people suffer in different ways in this world, but those that are doing okay are the ones who can accept, adapt, and learn to overcome challenges.

This is generally through a series of psychological events.

 

[vergil96]

True, how Mint operates does in fairness have its advantages. You could argue keeping the old packages is good for preservation, and in fairness they have a point. Would be nice if they had a way to potentially mark packages as outdated in some way. Thankfully in my case with Arch if a package is outdated it just moans at me that the package requires out of date dependencies and doesn’t install the package lol.

Linux. I have been summonned

 

[Chimorin]

Linux. I have been summonned

i use arch btw

 

[vergil96]

i use arch btw

Me too

No, I don't hate my autism

@Chimorin do you have any support for when you shut down and can't handle basic life functions? Perhaps you have family who can take care of you while being sick or you can set up a routine to better deal with it, set small goals, make things easier

 

[Chimorin]

Linux. I have been summonned

No, I don't hate my autism

@Chimorin do you have any support for when you shut down and can't handle basic life functions? Perhaps you have family who can take care of you while being sick or you can set up a routine to better deal with it, set small goals, make things easier

Sadly I don’t have said network in place as of yet (I’m the only family member with autism), but I make sure to keep myself to myself during a meltdown, I can manage. And yeah, setting goals is helping, definitely getting on top of managing stress during tasks for example, like for example driving (rewarding myself for when I pass a car on a junction for example without getting stressed, etc).

 

[Jonn]

The Stages of Grief and What to Expect​

Grief is universal and often described as passing through five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It can also be described in seven stages that elaborate on the complexities of grief, such as feelings of guilt.
Grief is universal. At some point, everyone will have at least one experience with grief. It may be from the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or any other change that alters life as you know it.

Grief is also very personal. It’s not very neat or linear. It doesn’t follow any timelines or schedules. You may cry, become angry, withdraw, or feel empty. None of these things are unusual or wrong.
While everyone can grieve differently, there are some commonalities in these stages and the order of feelings experienced during grief.

The Stages of Grief: How to Understand Your Feelings

 

[Metalhead]

I’d rather live with autism than die of Ebola.

 

[Jonn]

What Is Emotional Invalidation?​

Emotional invalidation can be hurtful, but learning to recognize it might help prevent its effects.
Validation is the acceptance of a person’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Invalidation, then, is just the opposite — when a person’s thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors are rejected, judged, or ignored.
Invalidation can affect anyone at any age, and whether you’re a child or adult, invalidation can be upsetting and painful.
Emotional invalidation from yourself or from others can often lead to feelings of worthlessness and self-isolation. These feelings can then impact your day-to-day life — at work, at home, and in your relationships.
In some cases, emotional invalidation can lead to other negative emotions and even mental health conditions. But it doesn’t have to.
Understanding invalidation and knowing how to recognize it can help you learn to better deal with it when it arises.

What Is Emotional Invalidation?

 

[Misty Avich]

Well I'd rather have AS than cancer, but unfortunately cancer is something that can happen to anyone at any time, autistic or not, so it's not really worth debating on that.

However, when my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, I actually decided that if there was a cure for advanced cancer and a cure for autism and we could only afford one, I would go for the cure for cancer in a heartbeat, anything to save my dear mum and have her in my life as long as possible.

 

[Cutesie]

I know you probably want to be left alone right now, but please, I know I’m just a random stranger, but talk to me about whatever if you want and/or need to. You remind me of me.

I want to be left alone by my family. Strangers are the easiest people to talk to. I can't deal with DMs, so I hope it's okay for me to vent here. (I know that I could just make a new thread.) It likely won't be my most intelligible message.

I can't take care of myself. I'm talking about both regular ADLs (Activities of Daily Living) and whatever it would take to turn my life in a better direction. I've been trying to find treatment, but I don't know how to look, I can't handle the process and I can't make decisions.

I need someone to take over, but I'm also fiercely independent and don't know if I can manage to give away control. As said, if I would be at least okay with it, I don't know how to find that help, either.

When I said about giving up, it would probably be one of two things:

1) Stop looking to change, to reach for anything greater in life. Keep doing what I'm doing, keep suffering, until forced to change by the circumstances that will eventually come.

2) Reach out desperately in any way possible to scream for help. The move that I've been thinking about for weeks is checking into a hospital. Maybe they can help me get to resources, while giving me some safe space and starting meds. What's stopping me is being terrified that they won't admit me.

I do want to be dead, but it's doubtful that I can ever do what's necessary to make that happen.