From a neurotypical's perspective

[Misty Avich]

There is no reason you should become homeless unless you are evicted from your current home, Misty.

And what if I get evicted from my current home?
I'm just really anxious, always worrying about it.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Being anxious is in some ways good, forces deep thinking, I was worried about my youngest son he had a learning dis ability So I put a plan together, got him through public, high school and college. like the military adjusted plan as it went along. I know he was worried followed my plan without question worked.

 

[Misty Avich]

I have no savings and I can't afford to build up insurance or anything. I just about put £5 away each week for a pension, though it ain't much but it's all I can do. Working more hours would just mean paying more tax so even that wouldn't be worth it. Plus I have mental health issues and find work stressful as it is, though I do have a job.

I just don't know how people end up homeless when there's citizens advice and other support services out there with certain laws that are supposed to protect citizens human rights and all that.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I was surprised my younger son followed my lead about planning so after he graduated he planned how to get into a relationship, wanted a bright girlfriend, did not like the bar scene, dating sites. Now he is in relationship with a woman with a Phd, has what looks like a gifted daughter His fiance was not familiar with how the system works here
for becoming a teacher, I planned her path she followed it, Now is employed by the largest school board, right where she lives. Boy that was easy, her biggest problem now is when to work as she does not want to work full time supply only.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

You have skills, interests like what you do, and from reading some of your past posts, are highly skilled at what you do. This can be turned into a long term plan. At one time when unemployed I put a rudimentary plan together. I knew I had extra ordinary technical skills, and could very easily trouble shoot processes in my area of expertise.
found a course at college on how to start a consulting business hoping to start my own business Got one company to call me realized this was not going to work Found out years later I was on spectrum Not cut out for this Maybe this is down your alley.

 

[vergil96]

Um, now your confusing me, I though you just said they weren't? Can you explain?

Maybe I'm too neurotypical in interactions for this forum, haha. I felt like I need to agree with Crossbreed to be polite.

I don't know if intellect plays a big part in defining support, or in diagnosing autism, but they are not necessarily the same thing, and don't always match up. For one thing, although DSM5 is very heavily used globally, how that relates to the effective diagnosis in your particular country, but separately how the support is allocated which is as much a social and political thing as medical (maybe more so).

It does sound very untrue that "need of support" (literally) = IQ. As above, people might need support for many different health or other reasons that have nothing to do with their IQ.

Another side to things is the age of diagnosis effects what support is available too. Whenever resource are inadequate (when are they not!) again some sort of prioritisation must take place, and I suspect most of that goes towards children than adults (for multiple different reasons). Same with those with greater intellectual impairment, they need more support than the same person who has all their mental faculties, and have the advantage to be able to navigate society better than those who don't, however hard that my be. A simplistic and crude decider, but nonetheless relevant.

But I was looking for private healthcare and was willing to pay my own money for it, and there is no queue or shortage. They just won't tell you about anything and will dismiss you, invalidating you and denying existing issues all along.

 

[Boogs]

I felt like I need to agree with Crossbreed to be polite.

I try to disagree with anything I can make an argument for. Bit of a contrarian, it's far more fun than agreeing!
Occasionally I'm right, but not too often I'm sure! Everything's a matter of perspective.

It does sound very untrue that "need of support" (literally) = IQ. As above, people might need support for many different health or other reasons that have nothing to do with their IQ.

Absolutely! In fact one of the infuriating things about autism is the fact we're all different, sometimes to a marked degree, and yet out of those many conditions, the selection of which we roll on our genetic dice, there emerges many commonalities. Fascinating, but hard (for me) to determine the patterns that produce understanding.

One can be a genius inventor, and yet not be able perform normal every day functions. In fact when I worked in a university chemistry dept. I used to see many (whom we would term nerds and geeks in those pre-ASD days) with PhD's out the wazzoo but still lived with parents who fed and cared for them like they were still kids almost.
They could juggle molecules with their eye's closed but couldn't work out a microwave (a friend who worked there once had to show a lecturer how to heat some baked beans and make some toast so he could feed himself!).

But I was looking for private healthcare and was willing to pay my own money for it, and there is no queue or shortage. They just won't tell you about anything and will dismiss you, invalidating you and denying existing issues all along.

That begs the question of how good they are at their job? Just because you pay through the nose for something doesn't always mean it'll be the real McCoy.
Or do you mean the current non-private doctors do that to discourage you going private? Not sure I understood that correctly.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't believe that IQ comes into it really. What I think it boils down to more is communication skills and daily functioning. I believe everyone with anything diagnosable probably needs support to some extent, even a tiny little bit. I mean I'm high-functioning, can communicate well and everything, but if there ever comes a time when I may be on my own or something then I'd probably need some financial help and understanding that I'd just die if I was kicked out on the streets to fend for myself like a wild animal. Just the thought terrifies me. I need security. I can just about manage with life without crumbling so long as I have security. My pets and possessions are very important and precious to me, and having a safe home to have it all in is all I need to stay alive and well, because I just could not survive out on the streets. I have agoraphobia as it is, and high anxiety, and no I'm not going to get into drugs to survive so don't even think about suggesting that.
I'm talking about in years to come when most of my family are no longer around (including my husband, who's older than me) and my siblings and cousins may not have room to have me stay with them, especially that I own a lot of stuff that's sentimental to me.

 

[vergil96]

with PhD's out the wazzoo but still lived with parents who fed and cared for them like they were still kids almost.

I'm doing a PhD and I don't live with parents, but I'm bad at cleaning and I outsource making food a lot I'm doing better with cleaning recently, I made it into a system. And I believe in minimalism - the less stuff, the easier it is to keep it in order (I forget about stuff if I have too many items anyway, so it doesn't make sense for me to keep it anyway and I e.g. always wear the same couple of clothing items too).

Or do you mean the current non-private doctors do that to discourage you going private? Not sure I understood that correctly.

The version about bad doctors and psychologists is true. I don't know where or how to find better ones though. I looked on facebook groups, asked around IRL. None of that looks like it would be helpful for me. There is a certain trend and I don't fit into the trend.

 

[Crossbreed]

I don't know where or how to find better ones though.

See if your country has an autism society. They might be able to point you to competent therapists.
Also, you said that you were working on your PhD. See if there is a psychologist at your university. Educational psychologists are often more competent in autism matters than their clinical counterparts, at least around here.

 

[vergil96]

I believe everyone with anything diagnosable probably needs support to some extent, even a tiny little bit.

I think the same

 

[vergil96]

See if there is a psychologist at your university. Educational psychologists are often more competent in autism matters than their clinical counterparts, at least around here.

Ah, I see. The university psychologists are rather incompetent at everything.

See if your country has an autism society. They might be able to point you to competent therapists.

Thank you, I'll look for one. It sounds like a good idea.

 

[Misty Avich]

I think the same

Yes, I'm all for severity levels but I don't believe that people with ASD1 require no support at all. I don't need support with communication or self-help skills, but due to dyscalculia I have a hard time with numbers so if it wasn't for my husband I may need help with juggling my bills and other payments each week. But I am responsible with my money, and once I have direct debits sorted and know how much I had to myself each week then I'd manage easily. I'm not the most organised person and I do tend to do things spontaneously more than plan ahead, but that doesn't affect my functioning or understanding of how the world works.

I have severe anxiety too, which can make some things seem frightening to me, for example getting into debt or being homeless. So if that was to ever happen I would require some support. But I can communicate well enough to seek the right support, especially if I was desperate. My anxiety and the constant need to express myself to others does go to my advantage sometimes because it means I can speak out and get things sorted before things get out of hand. Even though I am timid I still have the right communication skills to be able to speak out.

 

[Boogs]

I'm doing a PhD and I don't live with parents, but I'm bad at cleaning and I outsource making food a lot I'm doing better with cleaning recently, I made it into a system. And I believe in minimalism - the less stuff, the easier it is to keep it in order (I forget about stuff if I have too many items anyway, so it doesn't make sense for me to keep it anyway and I e.g. always wear the same couple of clothing items too).

My point exactly! Getting to the point of starting a PhD takes some doing and not a small amount of intelligence and ability and application, showing it doesn't reflect on other abilities necessarily. For example when I started failing at school, around 7 or 8 years old, my parents tested me for intelligence, got results that put me in the top few percent, decided that's the be all and end all of it, got me hiked up a level at school, and couldn't understand why I failed even more miserably than before.
For context, my mum was a teacher and father a shrink, so you'd have thought they'd have had a bit more insight (and he was a damn good shrink too, though worked in geriatrics and this was in the early 70's so little about Autism known around then, to be fair).

The version about bad doctors and psychologists is true. I don't know where or how to find better ones though. I looked on facebook groups, asked around IRL. None of that looks like it would be helpful for me. There is a certain trend and I don't fit into the trend.

It is a problem finding professionals who are up on this and a genuine help. I'm not sure what the best way forward would be (I assume you're in the US so not my area of knowledge, maybe others here could advise?) - ah! Just read further and see others have indeed done this!

 

[vergil96]

(I assume you're in the US so not my area of knowledge, maybe others here could advise?)

Nope, Poland.

For example when I started failing at school, around 7 or 8 years old, my parents tested me for intelligence,

It seems like there are a lot of services directed at helping with school. I don't have problems with school or anything like that. I am a nerd and I forget to feed myself, wash myself etc., that's the problem and reason for poor performance if it occurs. Crazy scientist syndrome. I mean, that's not the only problem. I managed to fix myself recently, luckily. I get very overstimulated and exhausted by chaotic lifestyle, it sucks the life out of me. My overstimulation means that my sensitivities give me hell, and I have panic attacks when I leave the flat, because of traffic, shops, things like that. And I can't speak when overstimulated. My brain gets becomes clogged, and since speaking is relatively hard for me, I couldn't ever hear too well, it's the first to go. Instart to have painfully literal reasoning as well. But yes, I can still hack into your computer, lol, or grind math that few people can understand at all. I have no clue why academic performance has anything to say. My perception is that hacking is the easiest thing in the world, it's very logical. Unlike cooking, lol.

My aunt who has Alzheimer's has a similar problem with specialists. She didn't get treatment, because she's intelligent, ehe knew many languahes fluently and was a translator and economist. She was a math genius and she's still very good with math and tech. I suspect she might have been autostic all along too. She doesn't speak much any more, but it's not reflective of her coping skills. A psychologist sees that someone does something "difficult" and it makes them ignore all the problems. My aunt has communication issues, but she's manages to manipulate still, including those psychologists, to elicit the reactions she wants. Think a deaf granma, one has nothing to do with the other. Aunt's caretaker taught her basic sign language too. I'm kind of not surprised it turned out like that, because she's always been a little weird. Not in a very noticable way, but "does things just for sensory entertainment or reasons" type of weird. Obesessed with certain stimuli, "aha"ed, smiled and nodded a lot as a response. I heard a lot that my aunt and I are very similar (guess what, autistic traits are the ones we both have, "similar minds").

But back to my point, my aunt didn't get any help, because she is a genius and there is "no problem" if she can't feed herself, gets lost, doesn't take her medicines, needs help with dressing and so on. We're trying to help her as much as we can, as a family, but she wasn't medicated appropriately and it might have been prevented from getting so bad so early if she took the right treatment. She is probably autistic, but she suffers from some neurodegenerative disease as well and this disease was ignored.

I think it's a problem to be unable to leave your flat. Or vegetating for whole days, because you're so tired, not getting up from bed. I don't know how much of a problem my extended nonverbal episodes are. I feel the area of my brain responsible for speaking atrophy. I'm getting worse and worse at it. I mean, with little to no impact on performance in life. I actually got better since those episodes got pervasive, I got some brain power back. Part of the mechanism behind it is that others don't pay attention to my bad hearing otherwise and don't accomodate me. My problem is that my difficulties go unnoticed amd unaccounted for and I crash very hard.

For context, my mum was a teacher and father a shrink, so you'd have thought they'd have had a bit more insight (and he was a damn good shrink too, though worked in geriatrics and this was in the early 70's so little about Autism known around then, to be fair).

Oh, last professions that you'd think would miss autism. I know several children of psychiatrists who got diagnosed with autism only as adults, though. It must be the lack of knowledge back in the days.

 

[Crossbreed]

I know several children of psychiatrists who got diagnosed with autism only as adults, though. It must be the lack of knowledge back in the days.

In the U.S., there was no ASD1 diagnosis to be had before 1979[?].

 

[vergil96]

In the U.S., there was no ASD1 diagnosis to be had before 1979[?].

My aquaintances are around my age, so born in the 90s and were children in 00s *shrugs*

 

[Crossbreed]

My six youngest children were born between 1991 & 2000.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Thank you for your concern about your brother. Acceptance for those of us with social dysfunction is so very important to us. I hope that you will assist your brother in navigating the social landscape. I know that as a teen and young adult I could have used help, but back in the day, autism was rarely diagnosed unless it is severe.

A most interesting article I have read is this which looks at the positive genetic correlations betwee autism risk and measures of mental ability. Autism As a Disorder of High Intelligence - PMC

 

[Outsider]

I don't want to be homeless. It's one of my worst ever nightmares. Please tell me I won't be homeless.

I inferred from your posts that you have a steady job; and your posts are right to the point.. To me it shows that your intellectual development is quite high. I simply don't see how you can end up homeless.